Title: Nous Deux (two of us)
fandom: mass effect
warnings: violence & smut
Last chapter, and I want to thank you all for reading along, and I hope you enjoyed the read. I want to thank Maxxie for her fantastic illustrations, I am amazed by your talent sweetness! And lastly but not least, thanks to AsylumFarm (EJ) for her beta work, you rock!
Shepard went about his day as usual, there was still a day left of shore leave, and he had a bunch of official papers to work out, he had sent a bunch of reports to his superior. He was looking over the data file he had received on their next mission. He ordered a coffee and something to eat, before he sat down and looked out over the presidium commons, a peaceful view and coffee did wonders on his hangover state. He opened the file and started to read, Akuze, a whole human colony in the making had gone dark, and apparently they were going in there. He was so lost in his reading that he didn’t notice someone standing in front of his table. The person cleared his throat making Shepard look up, he shambled to his feet and saluted. ”Major Tideman, sir!”
The Major smiled, ”At ease Staff Sergeant.” Shepard relaxed a little. ”Let’s make this short, I just came down to congratulate you personally. Your application to the N7 program has been approved. The trials will start immediately after you return from Akuze.” He smiled again and held out his hand, which Shepard gingerly took. ”Good work kid.”
”Sir, thank you sir!” Shepard said feeling his cheeks burn. He had never gotten used to praise and this was no exception.
”Make me proud out there.” The Major said and took back his hand.
”I will sir!” Shepard saluted the major again as he turned to leave. For a moment he just stood there and stared. He had been accepted into the N7 program, that was crazy! A wide grin split his face, that was fucking awesome. He sat down with his datapad again but couldn’t focus. He looked up as he heard Kaidan’s voice, he knew he shouldn’t have but he couldn’t help himself. He was seated at a table a tableau higher than Shepard, he was smiling and laughing with the same man he had been drinking with the night before. Shepard shook his head and told himself he shouldn’t care. He tried to read but he couldn’t, all he could think of was Kaidan.
In the end he emptied his coffee cup, and folded the datapad under his arm and walked up, telling himself to just walk past them, not to embarrass himself more than he already had. But his feet had another idea, and so he stopped in front of their table. ”Ehm.. I’m sorry about last night” He said, what he really meant that he regretted being such a damn coward when it came to this. ”But you’re right Kaidan, you do know me.”
Kaidan just looked up at him with a polite smile.
”See once there was this skinny kid who snuck aboard a cargo ship to the Gregarin station, thinking it was a sweet meal ticket. It wasn’t, but he got by.” He bit his lip feeling like a fucking idiot. But for some reason he just couldn’t come out and say it straight. ”Mainly because he knew how to steal anything, once he even stole a pair of black leather gloves for another boy.”
Kaidan’s eyes widened. ”J-John? Is it really you?”
”Yeah.” Shepard squirmed slightly, but was happy to see Kaidan snatch his hand from the other man.
Kaidan got up and wrapped his arms around Shepard, ”Why didn’t you just say so? God, I thought you died there.” He laughed happily and held Shepard out in straight arms, studying him, ”I can’t believe it, you actually made it to earth. Jesus Christ, John!”
The man at the table just raised a brow, ”Care to introduce me to your friend?”
”Oh yes, of course. John this is Des – Des this is John.” Kaidan smiled awkwardly, ”John is an old friend.” Kaidan looked at his uniform, ”System Alliance ground troops huh?”
”Yep.” Shepard said with a nod.
”Never took you for an army man.” Kaidan said with a smile, sitting down next to Des again.
”Right back at ya.” Shepard said, ”Alliance navy.. I thought you hated fighting.”
”Well I figured that I didn’t go through all that to learn the skills that I did. Just to sit in my pajamas doing red sand.” Kaidan said with a shrug.
”You got a point.” Shepard said with a smile. ”Well, I have to go prepare for departure in the early hours. Again sorry, I just didn’t know what to say I guess.” He laughed to mask his nervousness. ”Take care.” He smiled and saluted them swiftly, ”Kaidan, Des.”
”Hey John!” Kaidan said, ”don’t be a stranger, okay?”
”Okay.” Shepard said, but they both knew they were. ”Take care out there.” He said with a nod and turned to leave. Almost stumbling up the stairs cause his thoughts was miles away. That had been an awkward clusterfuck at best.
Stumbling towards the landing area, he tumbled over, his last thoughts was of Kaidan and what a shame it was that he never got to get to know him again. And of the N7 program, he had let everyone down even if he had fought so goddamn hard. He didn’t wake as he was carried aboard the ship.
He didn’t run into Kaidan for another five years, he didn’t mind. Somehow fucking guys that looked like him was enough, they didn’t hurt. They were a nice blanket he could hide under, shove all his feelings away and just forget that Kaidan would never be his.
It was not until he stood on the bridge of the newly built, state of the art frigate SSV Normandy, welcoming the staff together with Commander Anderson, and Spectre Nilus – that he saw him standing there.
He gathered up the courage to go see him the night before they went to Eden Prime, finding Kaidan reading a datapad, drinking tea. ”Hey Kaidan,” He said softly. ”What’cha reading?” He said with his best native accent, making Kaidan grin.
”It’s an ancient thing.” Kaidan said, looking up at Shepard, who lay down on the lopsided sofa.
(Art by Maxxie)
”Read some to me, it’s been a while since I got a bedtime story.” Shepard smiled softly, shifting till he was comfortable, closing his eyes, still with a sneaky smile on his lips.
Kaidan grinned, ”Okay.. Out of spite, the human beings pretended not to believe that it was Snowball who had destroyed the windmill: they said that it had fallen down because the walls were too thin. The animals knew that this was not the case. Still, it had been decided to build the walls three feet thick this time instead of eighteen inches as before, which meant collecting much larger quantities of stone.”
”Carry on.” Shepard mumbled hiding a yawn.
”For a long time the quarry was full of snowdrifts and nothing could be done. Some progress was made in the dry frosty weather that followed, but it was cruel work, and the animals could not feel so hopeful about it as they had felt before.” Kaidan read and then stopped. ”Hey John, can I even call you that? I mean, you’re my XO, and well.. it just seems so weird to call you Sergeant Shepard.”
Shepard laughed, ”You can call me John.” He turned his head and looked at Kaidan. ”Been thinking of something, ehm.. what happened after I ran?”
”Back at Jump Zero, I ran and you held Vyrnus and that other Turian asshole.” Shepard said, ”I heard you killed Vyrnus, is that true?”
”Yep.” Kaidan said with a nod. ”I didn’t intend to though, it just sorta happened. He was going after you and well I couldn’t let him do that.”
”Thanks.” Shepard said with a smile. ”And that girl.. Don’t remember her name.”
”Rahna.” Kaidan said, ”Don’t know, she refused to talk to me after that whole thing. Not sure if she was offended that I wasn’t into her, or if I scared the shit out of her. Or maybe both.” He chuckled.
”Probably both, man.” Shepard said rolling over on his back. ”..Ehm, and that guy Des?”
”Didn’t work out.” Kaidan said with a shrug.
”Good.” Shepard said with a smile.
”You smug bastard.” Kaidan grinned, ”I missed you, you know. I might not have said it, or anything, but I really did..”
”So you wouldn’t mind if I asked you out, for dinner and ehm.. a drink?” Shepard asked with a little flash of a smile.
”Not what so ever.” Kaidan said softly, ”In fact I was sorta hoping you would.” He put down his datapad, ”For old times’ sake.”
”Yeah, for old times’ sake.” Shepard mirrored, pushing himself up to a sitting position just looking at Kaidan, feeling the tension in the air. ”Kaidan, fun aside -”
”You know what?” Kaidan said softly tilting his head to the side, looking at Shepard. ”I asked specifically to be assigned here under your command.” Kaidan said giving Shepard a little lazy grin.
”You did?” Shepard just stared at Kaidan, but of course it was too much of a coincidence, that Kaidan just happened to be here.
”Yeah.” Kaidan admitted with a weak nod. ”I don’t know, it might sound silly. But I knew you when you were a boy, and I wanted to know what kind of man you became. I mean I have heard all sorts of good things about your accomplishments and all that, the shooting star of the Alliance. But I know you John, or well I knew a different John.”
”You’re right.” Shepard sighed and leaned back in the sofa. ”Jump Zero seems like a million years ago.” He grinned and added ”I can still nick you a pair of gloves though.”
Kaidan laughed, and held out his hand to Shepard. He didn’t need words, neither of them really did.
Shepard looked over at the door, knowing that most the crew had gone to bed, and none of them had a reason to come in here. He got up and walked over to Kaidan, silently placing a knee on each side of Kaidan and sat down on his lap. He reached up to gently caress Kaidan’s cheek, it felt big and it felt like a dream. Kaidan was right here, and he was not objecting. For a second he felt like he was 16 again, and Luke would walk in on them in any given moment. ”If we do this,” He whispered, ”We’d still have to hide.”
”We were pretty good at it, weren’t we?” Kaidan whispered, grabbing Shepard’s wrist, turning his head to kiss the palm of Shepard’s hand.
”The best.” Shepard whispered back.
Kaidan started to laugh, ”This is fucking crazy.” He looked up at Shepard, ”We really shouldn’t, you know. We don’t even know each other anymore.”
”Yeah I know.” Shepard said staring at Kaidan all cross eyed. ”So uhm, you wanna fool around?” He grinned, and Kaidan laughed, wrapping his arms around Shepard’s neck pulling him down for a kiss.
It was the strangest feeling kissing Kaidan, like he felt 16 again, his body knew Kaidan’s even if he had filled out some. He knew the scent and the texture, he even kissed the same as he had back then. But this was something else, this was a whole other minefield of crap. But he couldn’t say no, there was no way in hell he’d stop what he just started. Judging from Kaidan’s hands pushing up under Shepard’s uniform, neither would he. They really ought to work this out as adult, get to know each other again, do the proper thing. See thing was that neither Shepard or his cock really cared about proper, all they cared about was touching as much of Kaidan as he could.
”Hold up.” Kaidan panted, kissing the corner of Shepard’s lips.
Shepard just stared at him, breathing hard, flushed and looking every bit the lover Kaidan had years ago.
”Cameras.” Kaidan said.
Shepard nodded, ”Behind the bar.” He nodded to the bar in the far end.
”Check.” Kaidan said, gently pushing Shepard off him, walking to the bar unbuttoning his uniform as he went.
”You fucking tease.” Shepard mumbled under his breath, trying to rid himself as his uniform, a whole lot less graceful than Kaidan.
They were both snickering like teenagers as the tumbled over behind the bar. ”You still know how to be silent?” Kaidan whispered, rubbing himself up against Shepard in a long languid move which made Shepard gasp.
”Mhhmm, ” Shepard nodded, ”You still know how to do the jolt thing?” He asked with a dirty grin.
”You like that huh?” Kaidan teased, ”Yeah, yeah I still know it.” He licked the shell of Shepard’s ear.
Shepard trembled a little like when you got the chills. ”I swear to God Kaidan, this might be a really bad idea and all.. but if you don’t do something I will pull ranks on your ass.”
Kaidan snickered, biting Shepard’s jaw playfully, ”You haven’t gotten more patient over the years.”
Shepard just slapped Kaidan’s ass hard, making the man wince.
”Ow.” Kaidan mumbled. Shepard just grinned, and kissed him. ”Ehm.. I hate to ruin the mood, but do we have any ehm..”
”No.” Shepard whispered back, ”We’ll have to do without, and remedy that next time.” He smiled.
”You really are a smug bastard aren’t you?” Kaidan said softly, reaching down between them, wrapping his fingers around their cocks. ”Alright, ready?” He asked, more out of old habit than anything.
Shepard didn’t answer, he popped up on his elbows, looking at Kaidan’s face, and then down between them, at their cocks in Kaidan’s hand. When Kaidan started to move Shepard bit his lip. He might have lied a little when he said he was still good at being silent.
Kaidan stretched so he could kiss Shepard. Feeling Shepard spasm as Kaidan flashed slightly blue, letting a little current run through them.
”Fuck.” Shepard moaned softly letting his head fall back, closing his eyes. ”More.”
Kaidan intensified the current, smiling at Shepard as he struggled to be silent. ”I could get you off on that alone, couldn’t I?” Kaidan whispered, knowing it was unfair.
Shepard raised his head again and kissed Kaidan, moaning into his mouth. His elbows sliding on the floor, until he just gave up and let himself fall back flat on his back. Kaidan worked them relentlessly, and Shepard had to bite down on his hand, drawing blood not to make noise.
Kaidan watched as droplets of blood landed on Shepard’s neck, he gave him another slight jolt of biotic current, watching him arch his back and squirm. He sat up, placed a hand on Shepard’s chest and the other still pumping their erections. ”Ready?”
Shepard opened his eyes from a second and looked up at Kaidan. He didn’t answer, but placed a hand on Kaidan’s on his chest.
Kaidan sped up his hand, getting them off and just when he felt the warm tingle spread, he upped the current one last time in a powerful blue flash as he climaxed.
It was long minutes before he could muster the energy to move off Shepard at all. ”Give me that hand,” He said, taking Shepard’s injured hand. Kaidan laughed, ”We have to wrap that up in something.”
”Yeah I know.” Shepard chuckled breathlessly.
Kaidan kissed the injury and turned his head, looking at Shepard. ”Funny, it’s like you never left.”
”I never really did.” Shepard said with a little smile. ”There was only ever you.”
Kaidan turned his head and looked up into the ceiling. ”Strange feeling that, knowing that you’re home, but still miles away.”
”I hear you.” Shepard agreed. ”But we got each other now, that’s all that matters to me.”
”Yeah that’s important too.” Kaidan grinned slightly and turned his head kissing Shepard’s cheek.
It was some long months with hiding, dodging crewmembers and cameras. Quick fucks in the cargo bay. Not that any of them complained, they had known this when they started, they had both known what they had walked into. And none of them cared about the obstacles, they’d get around those, they always had.