Play Fair 2/? – You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell

Authors; azzy & erestorjunkie
Title; Play Fair
Fandom; LoTr
Rating: M
WIP; 2/?
Pairrings: Haldir/Maedhros, Haldir/Echtelion,
Warnings: Language, crack, smut. AU (very much so!)
Summary; Middle eart is lost to the infection, and all the surviving elves are safe in Valinor. But since when have things ever really gone like you wanted them to, and how does ‘happily ever after’ work out for them?
AN; Yeah well so we just weren’t done with this craziness. This is the sequel to Play Dead, and we strongly suggest that you read that first, otherwise this will make even less sense than it does already.

It was Erestor’s first day out of bed since he had found himself in the halls of waiting, and he was nervous. He paced in the small garden near his room all morning. Mandos had told him that Maedhros was coming to see him today. He really had no idea how to take that. Would the temperamental elf blame him for infecting him? He knew about that, and how Maedhros had sacrificed himself in the end. It made him sick thinking about it.

Lots of things made him feel sick or nervous anymore. He was sure that was part of the reason why he was still here, in the halls of waiting, not reborn in Valinor like so many others. He wasn’t even sure that he wanted to be reborn. He really had screwed up the first time around, and he felt terrible about it. Even if he hadn’t made such a mess of it at the end, he still felt bad about some of his behavior. Maedhros was right, he was pretty pathetic.

Erestor made his way back inside. Mandos told him to be ready by noon to go see Maedhros in the visitor’s rooms. He wondered if he could back out now. Probably not. A suggestion by Mandos was pretty close to an order, and he had put if off for weeks now. Might as well get it over with, surely the Valar wouldn’t let Maddy get too crazy if he was pissed off.

He walked down the long halls toward the prison section. The walls became less decorated and more drab the further he went. Tapestries and artwork was replaced by first posters in gaudy colors with obnoxious text and finally nothing. The bare stone and cinder block walls reeked of isolation and despair. He almost turned around several times and felt his feet start to drag the closer he got to his destination.

The door was solid and painted a dreadful lichen green that he knew was meant to be soothing or some shit, but it was far from it. It looked like what it was, an institution. Was this what Maedhros was living in? Was this what he saw every day? The thought made him feel worse. Not that it was his fault that Maddy was here, he knew that rationally, but it felt like it.

The door opened as he approached it. The guard was inside waiting for him. Maddy was seated at a rickety looking table, behind a large thick glass wall, hands shackled and his feet propped on the scared wood surface. He gave the nervous elf a smug grin.
“I know you aren’t here for fun, it’s the wrong room,” Maddy smirked as Erestor shifted nervously. The door shutting behind him made him jump.

Erestor blushed. “There’s another room. . . “He started to ask and realized he was being baited. “Right, well, anyway,” He tried to start again.

“Look, I’m sorry about the whole bite thing,” He refused to look at the cocky red-haired elf at the table. “I really didn’t have any idea,” He shuffled his feet and fidgeted waiting for Maddy to speak. When he heard nothing he finally dared to peek out from under dark lashes at his companion and found the must puzzled look on Maedhros’ face.

“Yeah well, it was worth it at the time,” Maddy composed his face back into the leer. “You are damn good fuck, think you could get the ‘family’ room next time?”

Erestor paled, and then blushed. “I came here to thank you for not letting me turn into one of those horrible things, and you are thinking about sex?” He said stiffly. “Is that all you think about?”

“There is no point in blushing, it isn’t like you’re some innocent virgin,” Maedhros rolled his eyes. “You’ve fucked more elves than I’ve ever even tried.”

“That was the past, Maedhros,” Erestor was getting angry. “It isn’t like that anymore.”

“Bull shit,” Maddy insisted. You are going to get out of here and go jump on the first dick you find.” He made a half gesture which would have been a shrug if he could for the restraints, “Don’t lie to yourself.”

“You know what,” Erestor turned back to the door. “Fuck you.” Of course it was locked, but it only took a moment for the guard on the other side to open it. Thankfully, or not, the room was monitored.

As the door swung shut behind him, he heard Maddy laughing.

Maedhros looked over his shoulder as the door behind him opened and two guards came through and unfastened his feet to let him get out of the chair. His smile was ever present on his lips, as he looked up at the guards disapproving glare he started to laugh again, “I can feel you judging me there Sir.” The guard didn’t answer even if Maedhros could tell he was bursting to yell at him, the guard’s lips were a fine line of anger.

He pitched his voice to make fun of Erestor as he was guided down the corridors with hard hands, “Is sex all you think about?” He mocked, “Fuck yeah.” He laughed in his own voice, “Who wouldn’t in here?” He smiled at the most annoyed guard, “Believe you me, if you had been here in more than a year, all you’d think about was playing hide the salami.”

The guards pushed Maedhros into his cell, and removed his restraints without making so much as a sigh; they were used to him goading them on to answer. And those who did, were fired before Maedhros had finished his second sentence. The door slammed shut with a heavy sound. “Assholes.” Maedhros slammed his fist against the iron door. “Didn’t your mama tell you it’s rude to ignore people who are speaking to you?” – The guards just walked down to their break room, ignoring Maedhros’ tirade. – “Fuck.” Maedhros sighed resting his forehead against the door. At least he made sure that Erestor would never come back, no point in rekindling a friendship that was doomed, still it made him oddly melancholy.


Maeglin paced nervously in his small cell. It had been so long since he had a visitor, even an obnoxious one; he was not sure what he should do. Maedhros was truly appalling, kind of like his father. Fëanor had been lacking many of the finer social graces, and it seemed no one had bothered to teach his sons either.

He made sure the paper on his desk was straight; he checked that his pens were lines up just so; he checked that his books were sorted correctly, he paced some more. He really wasn’t sure what had prompted him to offer to teach Maedhros to write with his left hand. He must be lonelier than he realized.

The millennia since his death and imprisonment had been long. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had spoken out loud to anyone before Maedhros came to his door, asking him to write that awful letter to the red-head’s foolish lover.

At least Maedhros had a lover to miss. Maeglin did not even have that. His hopeless passion for Idril was so long ago he no longer remembered why he had wanted her so badly. He wondered briefly what it was like to miss someone. He had no one to miss.
A knock at the door stopped him mid stride. Maedhros was there. In a flurry of activity, Maeglin tried one last time to make sure nothing was out of place. Not that it ever was. He knew were every single item was in his cell, it had been exactly as it was for millennia.

“Morning, Maggie,” Maedhros sauntered in and flopped down in a graceless heap on Maeglin’s small bed. “We gonna play school today?”

The dark haired elf felt anger rising in his chest. This insolent brat was invading his space and pissing him off before they had even begun. Lunging to his left, Maddy grabbed one of the pens from the desk and began tossing it into the air, trying to see if it would hit the ceiling.

“Kindly remove you shoes from my bed,” Maeglin seethed. “There is no need for you to be there, there is a perfectly good chair at the desk.” He tried hard to keep his temper in check; Mandos had made it clear this was going to be not only a privilege and a test. He wanted to see is Maeglin was capable of interacting with others like a rational elf.


Haldir really did not want to go to the market, his head hurt, and his stomach was rebelling in ways he didn’t want to think about, but Orophin was hungry and wouldn’t quit bitching about it until he went to get some food. If this was a hangover, he had no idea how anyone ever became a heavy drinker.

The day was too warm to be feeling this bad, and Haldir made his bleary way to through the stalls. He was becoming so annoyed with life in general that he didn’t see the much taller elf standing in front of him before he walked right into his back.
Mortified, Haldir stumbled back and looked up to see the elf from the wedding last night. The handsome dark-haired elf looked a bit worse for the wear as well. The beautiful hair was tied in a careless knot at the back of his neck and sunglasses hid his eyes. Haldir stammered an apology and started to walk away, but the other just gave him a crooked grin and put his hand on his arm. “Good morning,” He said awkwardly and blushed as he looked down. “I have to admit, I didn’t catch your name last night, I’m Ecthelion.”

Now what do you say to that? Haldir wondered. He had gotten shit faced with Ecthelion of the Fountain.

“Oh fuck me,” came out of his mouth before he could stop it. Ecthelion blushed impossibly darker.

“I don’t think so,” Ecthelion looked slightly puzzled. “At least I would hope I would remember that.” Haldir stood there with his mouth open in shock.

“Um,” he searched for the right words. “Wow, uh.” His brain had quit working.

“Maybe let’s start again?” He offered, hoping to salvage the awkward moment. “I’m Haldir.” He offered his hand.

“Oh! Right, of course!” Ecthelion tried to laugh off his faux pas. Haldir had not been making a suggestion or reminding him of anything. He desperately wished that Glorfindel was here right now. The brash blond would know what to say, even if it would be appalling. It couldn’t be worse than what he had just done.

Moments later, he was reminded why you needed to be careful what you wished for as the elf in question came striding into view. “Ecthelion,” he said loudly, slapping his friend on the back. Both Haldir and Ecthelion winced at the loud noise. “You look like shit, buddy,” He said cheerfully. “You really tied one on last night.” Glorfindel noticed Haldir standing there awkwardly. “Hey, Haldir” he said, smiling brightly. “What are you doing here? You look like something the cat dragged in.” Glorfindel stopped and grinned.

“You dog,” he slapped Ecthelion’s back again, “Is THIS who had you all hot and bothered last night? Dude you humped my leg in your sleep over Maedhros boyfriend? That is all kinds of fucked up.”

“Wow, look at the time,” Haldir looked at an imaginary watch and started to back away from the two legends in front of him. “I need to get back to make breakfast for my brother; he is a little unwell today.” He lied as he slipped back into the crowd. Awkward did not begin to describe that encounter.

Ecthelion frowned watching as Haldir fled the scene, “I can’t believe you said that.” He mumbled to Glorfindel, “Could you have been anymore vulgar?”

Glorfindel shrugged, “Sorry?”

Ecthelion sighed, “It will be nothing but short of a miracle of he ever even so much as smiles at me again.” He lifted his sunglasses to glare at Glorfindel, “Thank you, you…” He stopped himself from the litany of curses that he wanted to say, and recalled his mother’s advice, that if you didn’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything. “I’m dying for some food, something with loads of salt.” He said instead, turning from Glorfindel and started to walk down towards the other end of the market.

“You know Ellie.” Glorfindel started as he hurried at the heels of his friend, “I have to give it to you though, you can’t really stir a much bigger shitstorm than that, you know – buggering Maedhros’ boyfriend.” He grinned as he put his arm over Ecthelion’s shoulders, pulling his annoyed friend close.

“I didn’t bugger anyone.” Ecthelion groaned.

“But you would like to, wouldn’t you?” Glorfindel sing song in an annoyingly perky way, knowing he was right, he had seen it in Ecthelion’s eyes as they had taken in the silver haired Marchwarden.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Ecthelion argued weakly.

“Who do you think you are kidding?” Glorfindel roared with laughter.

“Just stop.”

“Come on, admit it.”


“Come on, come on, come on…”


“Liar – liar pants on fire.” Glorfindel shook his head amused.

“Don’t you have somewhere you gotta be?” Ecthelion sighed.

“Not really, no.” Glorfindel grinned. “I am waiting for my best friend in the whole world to buy me breakfast.”

Ecthelion rolled his eyes, but none the less continued towards a cafe by the harbor, “Just… Just don’t do me anymore favors today, okay?”


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