These days 4/?

Title; These days.
Author; azzy
warnings; language, slurrs, angst, spoilers.
rating; M
fandom; Dragon Age II
pairring; M!Hawke/Fenris.
WIP: 4/?
AN: Damn this story is slow.. sorry!! I get sidetracked by shiny stuff all the time.

<— Part 4

Leandra had known something was up when Hawke had taken a bath by his own free will. Normally she would have to literally usher the boy off to wash, when he was too ripe to sit next to. She had long since admitted to herself that her son was a farm boy, not a noble.

“Who is she?” Leandra asked casually, as she entered the bathroom under the false pretense of checking if Hawke had brought something to dry himself off with.

“Mother!” Hawke whined, covering himself up in the bath.

“Please Garrett, I changed your diapers when you were a baby. I saw your tush before son.” Leandra chuckled.

“Well I’m not a baby anymore.” Hawke argued.

Leandra arched an eyebrow and shook her head amused. “So who is she?”

“Who?” Hawke asked feigning innocence.

“The girl you have a date with.” Leandra said, seating herself on a stool, amused at her son’s flustered expression. “Garrett you aren’t fooling anyone, I normally have to fend you off with sticks and threaten you to take a bath, even when you have Maker knows what sticking to your hair.”

“Mother, please.” Hawke whined again.

“Fine.” Leandra sighed and stood, “If you don’t want to tell me about it, you don’t have to.” She turned to leave.

Hawke splashed some water out over the edge of the tub, “I have a dinner date.” He spurted out, hating himself for falling for the ancient mother-trick of faking lack of interest.

“Does she have a name?” She asked looking over her shoulder at her son in the tub.

Hawke knew he could have picked a better venue for this, but he couldn’t exactly lie to his mother, not when they were all they had now. “It’s.. it’s not a girl.”

Now Leandra couldn’t fake disinterest anymore, she turned around and stared at her son. “Not a girl?” she repeated like a fool.

“No.” Hawke said with a deep sigh. He could see her alarmed expression and wished he would have lied.

“Oh.” Leandra sucked in her breath and exited the bathroom in silence.

~*~

Hawke dressed cursing himself, knowing exactly what he would meet outside the bathroom door, unless Leandra had gone to bed with a headache. And right enough she sat in the chair and stared into the flames of the fireplace. “I’m sorry mother, I could have told you before, it’s just that I knew you would react like this.. And I hate to see you upset, you know that.” He sat down at her feet and stared into the flames too, like he had done when he was a small child, back in their home in Lothering the kids had been seated at her feet as she would tell stories from Kirkwall.

Leandra rested her hand on his head and buried her fingers in Hawke’s wet hair. “Did Carver know?” she just asked.

“No.” Hawke said, and then smiled a little sadly to him self, “Yeah I think he knew, but I never told him.” He rested his head against the armrest of the chair, “Are you still very upset with me?”

“Yes.” Leandra said stiffly, “You’re the last one left to carry on the bloodline, and you won’t take a wife.”

“Mother.. don’t think like that.” Hawke said with a sad tone. “I could take a wife it would make you happy.”

“It would.” Leandra admitted, “But it wouldn’t if it made you miserable, I want my last remaining child to be happy.”

“I love you mother.” Hawke mumbled smiling at the flames.

“Are you sure?” Leandra asked softly.

“About this one? or in general?” Hawke asked turning around so he could look at his mother in the warm light.

“Both I suppose.” Leandra sighed, looking down at her son at her feet.

“I’m sure.” Hawke couldn’t help but to blush, and rose to his feet hoping he would not have to elaborate the rest of Leandra’s very personal inquiry.

“Will I meet this friend of yours soon?” Leandra asked, “It would be the proper thing to do..”

Hawke had to catch himself from saying ‘but you already met him’. But if he had to be honest with himself, it was not a date, it was just Fenris that had agreed to share dinner with him, and him acting like a lovesick girlchild. “Maybe.” He said with a slight cringe, “How many times did you see father before you brought him home?”

Leandra laughed softly, “I only brought him home once, and my parents hated him.”

“I rest my case.” Hawke chuckled.

“It’s not the same.” Leandra argued.

“It sort of is.” Hawke sighed, “Apart from that this whole discussion is pointless, I don’t know if we’ll ever..”

“Trinkets.” Leandra said, “Ladies love trinkets.”

“Well Fe- Uhm, he is hardly a lady.” Hawke said catching his own slip up and looked at his mother with his best pokerface.

Leandra looked thoughtful, “All men love food.”

“Are you seriously suggesting I bring him food?” Hawke killed a laugh before it left his lips.

Leandra stood from her chair, “Why not?”

“Because… ” Hawke whined again, “That would just be weird.”

“More weird than two men dining in the moonlight?” Leandra shot back.

“Yes.” Hawke argued, and then sighed. “I shouldn’t have told you, and not like this.”

“Even if I don’t understand, or condone,” Leandra said with a slightly smile at her son. “I appreciate your honesty.”

~*~

As Hawke left their estate he was clutching a bag of oat cookies that Leandra had made him bring, because as she said at least it should be a decent man, and all decent men liked cookies’. Hawke could have chosen to have a fight over it, but he just took the blighted cookies and left.

Knocking on Fenris’ door he felt nervous like nothing else. And had to keep reminding himself that it was not a real date, it was just Fenris that had agreed to dinner, nothing more. No matter how much he wanted it to be.

Fenris opened the door and smiled at Hawke standing out in the vague light of dusk. “I was beginning to think that you wouldn’t come.” He said.

“My mother she..” He held out the cookies between them. “Wanted me to give you these.”

Fenris took the bag and opened it, studying the cookies. “They look good.” He looked up at Hawke, “Your mother asked you to bring me these?”

“Yeah.” Hawke squirmed.

Testing one cookie, Fenris bit off a corner. “Mmm they’re good.”

Hawke was above relieved, not only had it not turned out as awkward as it could have, but Fenris actually seemed to like his mothers cookies. “I know.” He grinned.

Fenris placed the bag inside, and stepped out into the early night with Hawke. “So what did you have in mind?”

“There is this place that has a..” He started to walk so he wouldn’t have to stand face to face with Fenris, “Really nice view over the harbor.”

“Alright.” Fenris said following Hawke through the streets. “Are you sure they will serve elves there?”

Hawke stopped dead in his steps, turning to look at Fenris. “You are with the Champion of Kirkwood, so of course they will serve you.”

Fenris nodded. “If you say so.”

~*~

They were seated with a brilliant view of the ships coming in and out of Kirkwall, they looked like little fireflies with lanterns in front and back. “I haven’t been anywhere this nice before.” Fenris said looking around with eyes large of awe.

“Me neither.” Hawke laughed. “There is a serious lack of four starred dining in Lothering.”

“Farm land?” Fenris asked.

“I would hardly go as far as to call it farm land anymore, I suppose it’s just a burned down dirt pile.” Hawke shrugged, “But yes it was farm land when.. before the blight.”

Plates were discretely placed in front of them, Fenris poked his with a fork. “This looks really expensive.” He said wondering, and then looked up at Hawke, “Why would you spend this much silver on me? We are not even friends.”

Hawke felt his heart skip a beat at that remark, but his smile only faltered slightly. “Yet.” He said digging into his food.

Fenris eyed him, “I lied when I said I have never seen anything this nice, I just never dined there. Danarius would entertain guests at places ten times as posh as this.”

“Oh.” Hawke realised his mistake and put down his fork. “Would you rather we had had dinner somewhere else?”

Fenris shook his head, “I don’t want to come off as ungrateful.”

Hawke sighed, “I understand.”

“No you don’t.” Fenris said, “I was made to stand in the corner, so hungry my stomach would hurt, but yet I was made to watch the magisters eat and toss scraps to dogs. The dogs got food, I didn’t.”

Hawke stayed silent and felt like the worlds biggest idiot that he had triggered this conversation, just because he wanted to take Fenris somewhere neat. Anyone else would appreciate some luxury, but not Fenris, he was bent on punishing himself somehow.

“Danarius, he..”

“Well I’m pretty sure Danarius didn’t buy you dinner, because he appreciated your effort and companionship.” Hawke stated bitterly, he didn’t mean to come off as crass, but he was trying to do something nice for Fenris if he would just let him.

“True.” Fenris sighed looking away from Hawke. “I do appreciate your gesture.”

“I just can’t win, can I?” Hawke mumbled, “Is the food is good at least?”

“Divine.” Fenris admitted. “Thank you Hawke.”

“You’re welcome.” Hawke said with a quick little smile.

They ate in awkward silence, “I ruined the mood, didn’t I?” Fenris finally asked.

“No, no, not at all.” Hawke lied. “You want dessert?”

“I’m full.” Fenris said, and then their conversation came to a grinding halt.

~*~

Hawke walked Fenris home like a perfect gentleman, but as he stood outside Fenris’ door again he wished he hadn’t. “I’m sorry, this was a terrible idea.” He mumbled, “I just wanted to get to know you better, because no matter what you might think of me, I -am- actually trying to be your friend.”

Fenris let out a breath he had been holding, “I know Hawke.. It’s just, I don’t even think I know -how- to be someone’s friend.”

“Sure you do.” Hawke said with a little sad smile, “You trusted Carver.”

“Maybe.” Fenris said looking thoughtful, “I know you aren’t going to harm me, but you are a mage Hawke, and…”

“Technically I’m still an apostate.” Hawke said with a little grin.

“I fail to see the difference, it’s still magic.” Fenris huffed.

Hawke sighed deeply, maybe a truce was as good as it got? He studied Fenris in the moonlight, Maker what he wouldn’t give to kiss those pouting lips, knowing fully that it would never happen. But a man can dream, can’t he? “Next time you buy.” Hawke grinned to kill the awkward mood.

Fenris studied Hawke intensely, and to Hawke’s surprise the elf smiled softly. “Fair enough.” He said, “Next week, same time, and I will come pick you up.”

Hawke couldn’t have been more surprised if he tried. “That- that is a date.. err deal.” He said, wishing he had more control over the shit that sometimes spilled from his lips.

“Great.” Fenris said looking absolutely devious.

“Great.” Hawke repeated like a fool.

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