Sotto Voce 3/?

Title; Sotto voce
author;azzy
pairring; Nick/Ellis
Fandom; L4D2
Rating; M/T+
WIP; 3/?
Warnings; blood, angst, craziness, language
summary; Sacrifice comes in many shapes and forms.
AN; This is the “sequel” to Trust, I can however not really say if this might be a longer story, i think it might be…

Kiss me, I’m dying
Put your hand on my skin
I close my eyes
I need to have your protection
I close my eyes
I close your eyes
-Madonna.

Chapter 3 – Touch me, I’m trying.

It had been a while since they had heard any scuffling from a zombie, you could hear them all the time, like a sick buzz in the background, but there was no one close. Nick looked up into the dark, starry skies. He could feel Ellis breathing slowly, his chest rising and falling against Nick’s back. Every now and then Nick tried to will his toes to wiggle inside his shoes, but nothing happened. And he had to consider the very real possibility that it was a permanent condition. ”Ellis?” He whispered. ”Are you sleeping?”

”No.” Ellis answered, his breath never changing pace, as he spoke.

”I think they forgot about us.” Nick whispered.

”Who the zombies?” Ellis asked with a little smile on his lips, that Nick couldn’t see.

”Yeah.”

Ellis closed his eyes, relaxing, ”I think so too.”

Nick bit his lip, ”You should go.” He said, not really believing that these words even passed his lips.

”Quit it Nick, I ain’t leaving you behind.” Ellis whispered, sounding mostly like he was falling asleep.

Nick frowned, ”Stop being an idiot. If you stay here you will die.” He paused and sighed, ”You still..”

”I’m dead anyway.” Ellis said sadly, ”I can’t make it on my own, besides, it’s my choice to stay here. Figured that since we’re gonna die, we might as well do it together.” Ellis’ voice sounded strangled and hollow, ”I’d hate to be alone, when… when.. you know.”

Nick nodded, he knew exactly what Ellis meant, he really didn’t want to be left behind either, but he felt like he took something dear from Ellis, even if he knew that it was Ellis choice. ”If I were dead, you would move, right?”

”Don’t even say that.” Ellis stated angrily, ”I won’t hear it. It was just as much my fault as yours that we are sitting here, stop treating me like i don’t know what i am doing.”

Slowly raising the rifle Nick stared at it hypnotized, ”Maybe, maybe this isn’t such a bad idea, i mean it beats waiting for those fuckers to come tear me apart.”

”Nick” Ellis said softly, ”It’s a sin.”

”But of course.” Nick put down the rifle again, ”What was i thinking?” Ellis couldn’t see him roll his eyes, ”Whatever we do, i can’t stand sitting here waiting.” Nick said sourly.

”Maybe i could go see if i can find something that can get us out of here, like a wheelchair.” Ellis said, ”I think i saw a one a little back, if i can get that, would you promise me to try?”

Nick was silent for a while, just staring up into the sky. ”Yeah, i promise.” He said, the lie scorched his lips, but he didn’t mind, it would not be the first time he had lied, neither the first time he had lied to people who depended on him keeping his word. ”Scouts honor.”

”You were totally never a scout.” Ellis huffed.

”Sure I was.” Nick snickered, leaning forward as Ellis pushed to get out from between Nick and the wall. They had been sitting like this for so long that it felt strange without the softness behind him. Like it felt more real without Ellis to sit here and warm him.

”Give me the rifle.” Ellis said, holding his hand out for the AK.

”Afraid i will do myself in?” Nick asked, eyebrow arched in slight amusement.

”No.” Ellis lied, shifting his feet slightly. ”But you are hidden here, I will need the rifle.”

Nick eyed Ellis and then finally handed the younger man the rifle. Ellis looked in thought for a moment, ”Nick?” He asked, ”There is a chance i am not coming back, so maybe it would be better if you had the rifle after all.” He held it out again, to hand it to Nick.

”Ellis, just take the damn rifle. And get going before i die of old age.” Nick said closing his eyes, feeling tired.

Ellis squatted down, and looked directly at Nick, he looked like he was about to say something, but then decided against it. ”Be safe, okay?” Ellis said.

Nick nodded, leaning against the brick wall, watching Ellis’ back as he slowly made his way out of the alley.

– – – – – – –

Ellis held on to the rifle, scanning the area, if Nick though he was the only liar, he was wrong, Ellis hadn’t seen a wheelchair anywhere, but that was not the same as he wasn’t sure there had to be one around, all he had to do was to look for one. He slowly crept along the wall of a town house, seeing a sign for the bus terminal. That was a good a shot as any.

”You should have kissed him, you idiot.” Ellis whispered to himself, turning the corner to the terminal, ”you should’ve.” He peeked into the darkness, he had been lucky so far, no zombie being alerted to his presence. Ellis knew there was a very good chance that Nick would have been very, very angry with him. But it was something Ellis had wanted to do for himself. Funny really, seeing as Nick had been a perfect jerk all the way through, ever since they met in the hotel. But that didn’t change the fact, that it had slowly rooted inside Ellis, till he couldn’t ignore it anymore. No one knew, no one, not even Nick. Ellis was used to that, admiring from afar. ”you’re an idiot” He scolded himself in a breath of a whisper, as he walked through the double doors to the terminal, keeping his eyes out for a wheelchair.

And once again he was in luck, there was a wheelchair, smack in the middle of the waiting area of the Bus terminal. Ellis approached it wearily, wondering when his luck would run out. But he heard no special infected in close range. It was not until he grabbed the wheelchair that he realised his luck had not just run out, he had just decreased his chances of survival with 50 percent. The wheelchair was heavy, but also it made a loud screeching noise, that was bound to alert anything within two clicks of the terminal.

”Shit!” He swore, and decided he would just have to do this in turns, run and shoot. First of all he would try and get as far away from the bus terminal with the wheelchair as he could, there was bound to be a lot of zombies there, since it was a place a lot of people would have met their end. And so he sprinted, pushing the heavy wheelchair in front of him, now all he needed was for his shoelace to come untied or something, and his rotten luck would be perfect, or maybe explosive dhiorrea? He laughed to himself as he ran, thinking of Keith who had shit his pants in a rollercoster once, just because he had eaten like a ton of burritos on a dare.

Now Ellis could just as well have been running around town with a dinner bell. Even Nick heard it in his half dazed state, mumbling, ”That better not be you, kid.”

Ellis ran all he could, noticing that more and more zombies took up the pursuit of him, but he didn’t let go of the wheelchair until he was trapped in an alley, and they came from both sides. ”Shit, shit, shit,” He whined, realizing he was out manned 100 to one. To his left he saw a broken fire escape, if he got up on the wheel chair and jumped, he might be able to get to it, and get to safety. Or maybe he would just be even more visual to any special infected, but right now he didn’t think of that. He just jumped up on the wheelchair, and made a very ungraceful leap for the broken ladder, the wheelchair sliding under his footing.

Letting out a little victorious squeal he grabbed on to the ladder, and climbed up, hearing the growling zombies marching back and forth under him, trying to reach him, like a dog barking up a tree for a cat. ”NICK!” Ellis yelled, ”HANG IN THERE!” Stepping out on the ledge, he walked around a dead fella who had apparently camped out here on the fire escape, and had met his end there too. A metallic clank drew Ellis’ attention as his boot hit something that scooted over the metal floor. He looked down and saw a large handgun, it looked more like a fucking hand cannon to him, but he figured that it just had to do, and didn’t Nick use to carry one that looked a little like this? He wished he knew his guns better, but it just never interested him at all, he never cared for shooting anything, not even cans. And look at him now, firing left and right at something that used to be people, everyday people, transformed in to crazed cannibals.

Sticking the gun in his belt, he vaguely thought that it would be just his luck if he accidentally shot off his own dick. He could almost hear Keith laugh. Wait that wasn’t something he imagined, that laugh was real. Ellis’ eyes widened, that could only mean one thing! Those face humping bastards. He scanned the ground beneath him, but he couldn’t see the little disgusting hunchback anywhere. Suddenly it leapt for him, missing it’s attack, Ellis just jumping back screaming like a girl, or at least that is what it sounded in his own ears. Quicker than he thought he was able to, he pulled the handgun and shot at the Jockey, hitting it in the head several times before it gave up trying to force the railing, and fell dead to the ground.

Ellis looked down at the gun in his hand, ”I gotta get me one of them guns, man.” he laughed softly to himself. He stuck it back in his belt and picked up the rifle. Sure the gunshots had alerted more unwanted guests.

It was almost morning when the shuffling mass of carnivores under Ellis’ feet started to thin out. Ellis looked at the sun in the horizon, he used to love the sunrise, but lately he had come to hate it, maybe they saw the zombies faster in the daylight, but they sure as shit saw them faster too. He just hoped that Nick was alright, he hadn’t heard any screaming, so he supposed that they had not found the corner where he left the other man.

Ellis descended the ladder a little more graceful than he had gotten up, and quickly shot the couple of zombies still lingering. He grabbed the wheelchair and started running again, ”God?” He panted, as he ran as fast as he could with the heavy squeaky wheelchair, ”I promise you that if..” He had to stop talking because he was running out of breath, ”If i make it, i will kiss him..” He wheezed. Ellis leered like an idiot as he had finally made his mind up. This was the end of the goddamn world, so he might as well take what he wanted, he who had always been so cautious, always playing it safe. No more! Nick could be as mad as he wanted, what was the worst that could happen? That he yelled profanities at him?

As the Wheelchair stopped, so did the loud obnoxious squeaking of the wheels. Ellis turned and shoot the nearest zombies before he darted into a house, knowing he could make it out of the first store bedroom window, unto a dumpster, and down to Nick.

Nick looked up as he saw movement in the window above him, and he smiled happily and tired as he saw the stupid kid waving at him, before he jumped down on the dumpster lid. Now he had expected Ellis to say something like he always did, but for once he was silent. ”E-Ellis?” Nick asked, feeling slightly disturbed that he didn’t just chatter away about shit no one cared about.

Ellis took a deep breath, and even took off his cap before he placed a hand on each side of Nick’s head, and kissed him, even Ellis found it hard to believe that he was actually kissing Nick, till he felt the soft texture of the other man’s lips against his.

TBC

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