Mary in the Mirror 26/28

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Title: Betrayal
Genre: drama/supernatural
Characters: Kane, Maddy, Izzy, Terrence, Martha.
Prompt: 11 – betrayal
Word Count: ? (a lot)
Rating: R
Type: series
Summary: Terrence tells the story of how he got his scar.
Warnings: blood, language, adult situations
AN: Okay time to flash my mad photoshop skillz, sorry man, but the ingame blood just looks fucking retarded if you ask me. This is the last flashback chapter, for this time being.. im sure there will be more eventually, since i love doing them. maybe it will be flashes with other people starring them, who knows *whistles innocenty* – Thank you to goodbye_sun for her sims, and thanks to ysbal for encouragement. This story is made for simfic50. (for those of you who watched ‘little Britain’ then there is a badly hidden joke in here)

Suggested soundtrack: Joy Division – Shadowplay // (the killers made a super cool cover version of this tune)

I hurt where I can’t feel, I feel where I can’t hurt
I know where I can’t know, I bleed for me and mine!

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After waking up sleeping on the bar at Crooked creek, i decided that i better go get some coffee and some food to cure my hangover, and maybe it would sober me to walk to Martha’s diner. When i finally got there i walked straight through the room and sat down on the same stool i always did, Martha smiled at me “Coffee Terry?” she asked, looking slightly worried.

“Yes please” I rasped, “black and strong”                                                     

Martha smiled again. “When are you flying out, then?”

“Tonight” I answered politely, having answered the same question all night.

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Martha came with my coffee, and then leaned in over the bardesk to whisper “I think there is someone here to see you”

I frowned, “Who?” i really could not in my right mind think of anyone that would wanna come to Murky Mile to visit me.

“They are by the window to your right” Martha whispered. “Now behave, right Terry?”

“sure” I mumbled, turning my head to see who the guests were.

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Had i not still been buzzed, i think i would have fell off the barstool, i did not know the girl in the busy jacket, but i knew her companion, i would recognize him anywhere, and now i even heard his voice loud and clear over the radio that Martha had running in the kitchen. It was Izzy, my heart skipped a beat, i had never expected to see him again, and right in that moment i forgave him everything, i forgave him for leaving me behind, because after all he came back for me, right?

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I looked up at Martha who nodded at me, i got up and walked over towards the table where Izzy and the chick sat. Somehow i managed to wonder if Martha maybe knew more than i thought she did, her smile seemed to indicate she did, and if she did, she didn’t care apparently. I stopped a couple of feet from the table, just looking at Izzy.

“Izzy?” I asked, hearing my voice slightly hoarse, but carrying a childish tone.

Izzy turned his head and looked at me, his eyes widened and a broad smile split his face. “Terry oh my God!” He jumped up from his chair, and came over to where i stood, rooted to the spot.

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Not even bothering to look if there should be other people here, i hugged him so tight we both lost breath, i felt like a drowning man who had finally found his lifeboat. clinging on for dear life.

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When we let go, i just looked at him in disbelief, he had turned out to be a very, very handsome young man, i found it hard to believe it was even Izzy, was it not for his eyes and his voice.

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“S-So.. ” I whispered, smiling goofy. not really knowing what to say, i had dreamed about seeing him again for years, and now that he was here, i found myself at a lack of words.

“Terry” Izzy said, smiling happily “What are you still doing in this crap place?”

“I..” I took a deep breath “I am trying to raise my kids, nothing more”

“Kids? you got more than one? that’s great Terry” Izzy said, but i could tell he didn’t really mean it, i knew him well after all. “Now meet my friend Maddy, she volunteered to go with me all the way up here” He guided me to the table, where the woman in the hideous jacket smiled at me.

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Maddy was apparently Izzy’s friend, they ran a art gallery together, and when Izzy had wanted to go on a road trip, she had come with him for support. She did seem like a nice girl, i must have looked suspicious, and Maddy explained to me with a grin that she had a girlfriend of her own, and that hers and Izzy’s relationship purely on a friendly basis. i must have blushed, cause they both laughed.

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Izzy turned to look at me, “I would never have come here, if i would have to come on my own, too many bad memories here” he said softly, “I never thought i would return, but well, never, say never.”

I think my bubble broke, i had thought we had some great memories together, and i had thought that he had returned for me, to take me away from this hell hole, apparently not. I looked away from Izzy’s gaze and down on my hands on my thighs. “That’s good then” i said barely audible.

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“Is something wrong Terry?” Izzy asked, “Look man, i had thought about calling your parents to see if you were still here somewhere, i thought we could have a coffee or something before Maddy and i leave” Izzy grabbed my arm and squeezed it gently. “I didn’t forget you Terry, you were my best buddy”

“So, what are you doing here? I don’t believe you drove all the way up here to make a courtesy call on your old school friends”  I said, feeling as despair and desperation filled my body, making my fingers tingle, for a moment i wondered if this was what a breaking heart felt like.

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“I got a letter from my mother, telling me that Isabel had a son, and well she believes the child to be mine” Izzy shrugged, “I know it took me some years to actually act on it, but i just couldn’t really find the time to drive all the way here”

“Plus Sebastian is looking after the business while we’re gone” Maddy added.

“Yes” Izzy said, nodding.

I was about to ask who the fuck Sebastian was, when Izzy beat me to it, confirming my fears. “Sebastian is my partner” He said, “We’ve been together for 4 years now” He smiled lovingly. “Wanna see a photo?”  

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To this day i still don’t know why i nodded, i really didn’t wanna see Sebastian the wonderful, maybe it was because Izzy wanted me to see it so badly. I took the photo he pulled out of his wallet, looking at Him and Sebastian smiling at the camera, looking happy. I wanted Izzy to miss me as much as i had missed him, but he didn’t, he had found himself a significant other, happy, and didn’t seem to think about what had went on here. “Looks like a nice guy” I heard myself say.

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Kane just sat and listened to his dad, even forgetting to have a sip of his drink, so when Terry had four drinks, Kane had not even touched his. “I’m sorry” Kane finally said, his voice breaking over.

“Don’t be” Terrence said, “I made that bed myself”

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“Still” Kane said, finally remembering his drink, as Terrence poured his fifth. “Why didn’t you just leave? i know i would”

Terrence grinned “You are my son, alright” He said, “I did try to leave actually, it just didn’t work like that”

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“Do you have any photos of your family?” Izzy asked, i nodded and produced the photos i have in my own wallet, and laid them on the table. “This is Cyan” I said, pointing at a snaphot of her, “The child Lis was pregnant with when you left” i added, trying my hardest not to sound cynical. “And this is Kane, he is almost two years old” I added putting a picture of you on top.

Izzy looked at the snapshots, and then pointed at Lis in the photo of you and her, “This is Lis? are you still with her then?”

“I am, we married that summer” I said, now completely unable to keep the cold out of my voice.

“But..” Izzy said, and i know what he was about to say, i didn’t love her then, how could i love her now?

“You left, what was i supposed to do?” I just said, clipped.

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“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”  Izzy said, his face frowning, “Just because i left, does not mean you had to run back to her, if you didn’t want to”

“Oh really?” I said, sarcasm dripping from my lips, “So you left and i was supposed to do just what? parade as the only gay in the village? get real Izzy, it maybe was not a big deal to you, but it meant everything to me”

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I stood up from my chair with so much force that the chair fell over, and i started to walk towards the exit, all i wanted to do was hide in the woods and cry, for my broken heart, and lost dreams.

“Hang on Terry!” Izzy called behind me

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“For what its worth, i’m really sorry, okay?” He mumbled, looking down at his shoes. “But… i just thought that you didn’t..w-wanna, didn’t really mean what you..said”

I felt anger rush over me like a giant wave, and instead of forgiving Izzy his insecurities, i just yelled at him. “You could have asked me okay? You were the one who kept telling me that i didn’t know what i was saying, maybe you were the one who was playing, all along!”

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Izzy hung his head and nodded, “you are right, Terry, i should have told you when i left”

“I loved you” I hissed, crossing my arms over my chest, “And you just fucking dumped me like that, and left me to deal with it” 

“But it all worked out right? i mean you got married, and got two kids” Izzy said, lifting his head looking at me, he looked sad, but that just seemed to piss me off even more.

I know i laughed bitterly. “Where was i supposed to go, Izzy? where?”

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“Come on Terry, you can still leave here, Murky Mile is not the world, man, the world a very big place, and im sure there is somewhere you could find your happiness” Izzy said, leaning in to rub my shoulder in a friendly manner.

I stepped back, out of his reach, i really didn’t want him to touch me. “No thank you, i think i will just stay here, if that is alright with you” i spat. I should have told him that i didn’t want to be anywhere but beside him, and if i couldn’t go to where he was, i didn’t want to go anywhere, then i could just as well stay here in Murky Mile, and be one with my own personal level of the Inferno.

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“You used to long to see the world, Terry, what happened? Did Lis really castrate you like that?” Izzy asked, slightly offended, pointing at me, accusing.

“I used to long to see the world with you” I answered coldly. “Anyway, i gotta go, i got to fetch my stuff before i fly back up the weather station” I nodded and smiled fake, “It was nice seeing you, im glad it all worked out, have a great life Israel, and take care” I turned on my heels and tried to leave again.
 

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Izzy grabbed me again, “Don’t leave like that Terry”

I spun around and pushed him away from me “Get the fuck away from me!” I yelled, owning me a ‘Behave boys’ from Martha. but i didn’t care, i poked him in the chest growling “What the fuck did you come here for? really Izzy! Don’t tell me you came here to see Isabel’s kid cause your mom said it had a resemblance to you, like 5 years ago. Did you come here to gloat, huh? did you?”

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“You got this all wrong” Izzy said with a tiny voice. “I just wanted to.. to.. ” He sighed and looked over at Maddy “Maybe its true, maybe this really was a really bad idea”

“Yea, get in your car, and drive on home to your busy city life, I am sure Sebastian would want you home soon” i snarled

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“What the fuck is wrong with you Terry?” Izzy asked, and even when i saw the confusion and sadness on his face, it did not lessen my anger, he fucking left me to die here, he just left and never looked back, and here he was trying to justify himself, saying that i just needed to make myself happy. What would have made me happy right there, would have been to strangle that ass Sebastian, and then Izzy. the two of them seemed like a mockery for the dream that had kept me going for years, the dream that Izzy had now forgotten, what we had promised eachother, and that he would come carry me off from this place, i know now that i was just being an idiot, of course Izzy had made a life for himself, and had moved on, at this time i just didn’t realise that, or wasn’t ready to see it for what it was. All i knew was the one person i had trusted with my life, now had turned my back on me.

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“And then i did it” Terrence said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and in a almost unseen gesture, also wiped his eyes from the moist that had gathered, threatening to fall as tears. “we had a verbal fight, but i had had too much to drink the night before, and i guess seeing Izzy had caused me more emotional strain than i thought, and in the end, i served him an even bigger lie than he had fed me, the biggest lie i ever told, and one that i had had to live with ever since”

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“And?” Kane said “I don’t blame you for being really unstable there, i cant even imagine what you went through”

“You will most likely have the same thing happen, if you don’t get out of this vortex of crap, you have to promise me to leave, and never look back” Terrence said, dead serious.

“Dad.. I..” Kane said, looking at the clock, he turned back to his dad, taking another sip of his drink. “what did you tell Izzy?”

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“I told him.. I told him that i had fucked his then girlfriend, i told him i had done Isabel” Terrence sighed, taking a large sip, “Which is actually true, but the rest weren’t” Terrence laughed, taking another even larger sip, “I told Izzy that i was Seth’s dad, not him, so there were nothing for him here”

Kane’s eyes widened, but no words came.

“Its not true of course, i am not Seth’s dad, and i had not done Isabel back then, that was later, if that is any consolation” Terrence laughed again, pouring more gin into his cup.

“Dad, what is that? your 8’th or 9’th?” Kane asked, still looking at his almost full first glass.

“Don’t know, don’t care. Painful memories takes lots of booze, that is a fact of life” Terrence said.

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“So what did Izzy do when you told him that? and just why the hell would you do that?” Kane asked.

“See i just wanted Izzy to leave, and let me return to my misery and tend my broken heart, and if he knew he had a son here, he would linger, or even worse, return. maybe he would return with that boytoy of his, and i didn’t think i could bear that” Terrence hung his head in shame, “I know it was low, and i know it was wrong, and it was very, very egocentric, i completely destroyed Seth’s chance to know his dad, who maybe would have been his ticket out of here, and then he would never have had to live with Simon, what if all that is my fault? All i did was protect my bruised ego”

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It all went so fast, one moment we were pushing eachother around, the next i felt a sharp pain on the side of my head, my vision blurred as blood came into my eye, and i felt dizzy, i dont remember fainting, but i remember waking up, Izzy sitting on top of me with a knife from the diner, looking me straight into my eyes. and i remember i told him to fucking get it over with. In that moment all i wanted was just to die, really. i wanted Izzy to kill me, no one else could. He had taken everything away, or so it felt, you guys and Lis would be more happy with some other dad, one who was less confused. i know i closed my eyes, and i heard Maddy scream, and i seriously thought that i was about to feel a sharp pain somewhere in my chest soon. but nothing happened.

Maddy had pulled Izzy off me, and i eventually tried to get on my feet. i know the only thing i mumbled over and over was “Why didn’t you fucking finish it?”

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I got up, and Martha guided me to a chair, i just wept and wept, while bleeding all over, and i know someone called an ambulance, while they tried to stop the bleeding, someone said ‘i think he will loose the eye’ i remember that clearly, i didn’t tho, i just got a huge scar, i suppose that was fine really, i deserved that, instant karma.

“Didn’t it hurt?” Kane asked stupefied.

“Of course it hurt” Terrence said, running a finger over his scar, “Right there i just didn’t care, actually i was more pissed off that he had not killed me”

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Maddy pulled Izzy out of the diner, and into the car, driving off before the sheriff arrived, i never saw him again, or heard from him, and i understand why, you see that is why i cant make things right, i have done nothing but bereft Izzy of what he maybe wanted the most. I can never look him in his eyes again, and he would never accept my apology, what i did was unforgivable, i can be reminded of that, every time i look myself in a mirror.

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“What did mom say when you returned home with a slashed face?” Kane asked.

“I told her i had gotten in a drunk fight with some out of towner, and apparently no one bothered telling her the truth, so i guess she still believes that” Terry said, shrugging. “Kane?”

“Yea dad” Kane said, slowly standing from his chair.

“I love you, you know that right? nomatter how confused and chaotic i might be, i hope that you do know that i love you and your sister more than life” Terry said, his eyes wide and frightened as he looked up at his son.

“I know dad” Kane said, smiling sweetly.

“When you get there, wherever you are going, please send me a postcard, you don’t have to sign it, i will know its from you” Terrence’s voice broke, due to emotions and alcohol. “Just so i know you got there, and that you and Seth are alright”

“I promise dad”

TBC

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