Mary in the mirror 19/28

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Title: Enigma
Genre: drama/supernatural
Characters: Terrence, Izzy and Kane
Prompt: 45 – Enigma
Rating: R
Summary: the second part of the father son talk.
Warnings: language, adult situations.
AN: This is the last ‘flashback’ chapter, and next chapter is a ‘normal’ one. i for one had fun with this flashback stuff, maybe i will even do a ‘why terry got his scar’ flashback chapter. i dont know. and the next chapter i do of MiM will be the first i shoot with a actual working, non crashing game! Thanks to goodbye_sun for her pretty sims. This is written for simfic50 – btw, its not time for a deathbet yet, so don’t worry about it, the next chapter is the voting chapter ^_^

~You can’t abandon me
You belong to me ~

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The next day i got a call from Izzy, asking me to come down to Martha’s, i really don’t know what i had expected, but i did worry that something was way off, as i walked to the diner.

I saw him the instant i walked into the diner, sitting there in the corner with a smug smile, i smiled back and walked over to him. “Terry” He said, greeting me in his usually strangely cool fashion. Let me tell you there were nothing cool or stoic about Izzy at all, but he always seemed like that when he was around other people, some called him an arrogant jerk, he weren’t really he was just shy, and harboured a dark secret, one that he knew would not alone ruin his life and future in Murky Mile, but his friends’ too.

“His friends, being you?” Kane asked, looking intensely at his dad.

“Yes” Terrence sighed, nodding slightly.

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I wanted to be cool too, but i just didn’t have it in me really, “Where the hell have you been, man?” I spurted out. sounding more annoyed than i was. Izzy’s smile disappeared and he looked down on his hands on the table. “just gone” He said with a little shrug.

“Isabel came to my place yesterday and was hysterical, saying you found another girl, Izzy…” I looked straight at him, with the sternest look i could pull off, “What is going on?”

Izzy smiled again, blushing slightly, i couldn’t determine if it was from shame or embarrassment. “Who said its a girl?” he whispered, barely visible.

I remember my own reaction like it was yesterday “What?” i almost shouted, getting unselfconscious, i lowered my voice, “What?” i asked again.

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Izzy looked around the diner and found we were alone, only Martha was there, and she was humming to a tune in the radio, reading a book, waiting for the lunch guests to arrive. “Terrence..” Izzy said all seriously, and i knew something was coming, he never ever called me Terrence, only my parents did that. “I.. I.. ” he mumbled, blushing even more, my eyes must have been the size of a teacup, when the realization hit me.

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“Don’t look like that” Izzy pleaded, “I knew you would react badly, that’s why i haven’t told you” I smiled nervously, fidgeting his sleeve. I opened my mouth to say something but all there came was a hoarse quack, “A guy?”

Izzy nodded, “I have lied to you, to Isabel, to the whole damn town, but most of all to myself. I told myself that if i could just keep you close as my best friend, date girls with you, and hang out, it would all go away.. but.. I..”

I must have paled, i remember i felt like the world was spinning. “Me?” I whispered, not believeing my own ears. “I am the other one that Isabel is jealous of?”

Izzy nodded, his shoulders slumped. “There, i told you! Terrence..” He looked up again, looking me right into my eyes “I love you”  But if he loved me, why did he look so sad?

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“I.. ehm.. I.. ” I stuttered, wrecking my brain for the right answer. truth was that ever since we had made out after having too much cherry wine, being bored, bold and drunk. i had not forgotten what he had felt like, and.. that feeling had stayed, even when i was with Lis, it had confused me terribly, when i jacked off, i closed my eyes, and all i saw was Izzy. Not that i would ever tell anyone that! Now i obviously told you.. and..

Kane smiled “Come off it dad, everybody masturbates, man”

Terry smiled thoughtfully, “I guess so”

“It’s okay” Izzy said, disappointment rolling off him in waves. “we can be friends” Looking over my shoulder to see if Martha was still buried in her book, i reached in over the table. lacing my fingers with his. in some strange attempt of letting him know what i felt, but the words wouldn’t come out over my lips. In those days, just as now, i suppose. Then this was a dangerous play, with very high stakes.

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Izzy squeezed my hand, and pulled his back. “Don’t pity me, Terry” He hissed. “I only called you to come here, because i wanted to tell you this, and because i wanted to see you a last time.. before i leave” He took a deep breath, “I’m running away, don’t tell anyone, you have to promise me to stay quirt!”

“But.. ” I whispered. How could he just tell me he loved me, and then tell me he was leaving?

“There is a train from Crooked Creek, it goes all the way to Veronaville, and from there i can get to SimCity”  Izzy said, his smile slowly returning.

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“You can’t just leave!” I suddenly burst out. “You have to stay!”

Izzy looked puzzled, “but why?”

“Because.. Because.. ” I know i blushed, i remember my cheeks got all hot, and my heart beat too fast. “I want you to stay, with me.. and..”

“You want what?” Izzy asked, now clearly surprised, but pleasantly it seemed, his smile was wide and natural. When i just covered my mouth with the back of my hand, grinning like an idiot. he gently took my hand away, looking directly into my eyes he whispered. “Say that again, tell me you want me to stay”

“Stay” I whispered, blushing to my roots.

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“He stayed then?” Kane asked.

Terrence nodded, “He did” he sighed, “For a while atleast, that time that came after that morning in the diner was the craziest of my life, Lis being pregnant, moving in with my parents and me, and me trying to find time to sneak off with Izzy, it was actually pretty innocent to being with.. you know..” Terrence took another swing at the bottle. “I need a new drink” He muttered, looking at the empty bottle, rising from the sofa to go to the bar.

Kane sat alone and stared into the fire, he had goosebumps all over his body, what was this strange feeling? foreboding of things to come? was he destined to repeat his fathers mistakes? their stories were so similar it as scary.

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“so” Terrence said as he sat down in the sofa again. “Where did i leave off? i don’t remember”

“Your fling” Kane said, smiling.

“oh yea..” Terrence said with a grin, blushing weakly, but maybe that was just the alcohol. “I will stop here if this makes you uncomfortable, its a little too much information really, im sure you didn’t need to know this at all, and here i have been babbling for hours”

“No, no, its okay, you continue, i actually find it interesting” Kane said

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When i said innocent, i meant we didn’t go past 2’nd, so i suppose that counts as innocent. One night Izzy called me again, telling me to come over to his place, not that i thought anything of it, i often went to visit when his parents were off to markets and such.  

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When i got there, Izzy was acting really strange, almost neurotic. “What’s up?” I asked merrily, “Did your mom find your secret porn stash?” Izzy didn’t even answer me, he just opened his soda, trying to avoid my eyes.

I covered the space between us, tring to hold his gaze, “Hey what is wrong? was it something i did?”

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“we have to stop seeing eachoter like this” Izzy suddenly said, in the saddest voice i ever heard. I stepped back almost bumping into Izzy’s mom’s plates. “What? Why? did i do something wrong? Oh gods Izzy i know i was a prude the other day, but honestly man, it just felt weird.” I whined.

“It’s not that” Izzy said, shaking his head. “It’s Lis” he stated dryly. “I can’t, i wont.. I.. I want you to myself, i want you as a real.. lo-lov.. Nnngh!” he hit his fist down into the kitchen desk. “I want you to be mine! i wont share, i can’t stand it!” he cried, tears of frustration pooling in the corners of his eyes. “I am going crazy Terry! knowing you sleep next to her at night, knowing you make love with her.. we have none of those things, and i want it! i want you as she does!”

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I was rooted to the floor, not knowing what to say. “I can’t Izzy” I finally whispered, not looking at Izzy’s heartbroken face, “She’s having that baby, and.. I can’t leave her”  Izzy started to cry, i have never in my life heard him cry, and i properly never will again, it was the tiniest, most pitiful sound, breaking my heart. I just wrapped him arms around him, holding him tight. Where the hell i got the courage from to say what i did, i don’t know. Maybe it was because Izzy was so broken and unhappy. “I love you Izzy, don’t run out on me when we’re almost there”

Izzy said nothing, he just snuggled up against me. “You don’t mean that” He finally whispered, “This is just fun and games to you, and.. i can’t do it any more”

I should have objected, i don’t know.. maybe he was right, my heart lay with him, but my future was with Lis. And there was no way i could tell him that. instead i whispered. “We can make love too”

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Izzy straightened up and looked at me, as to decipher my statement in my facial features. “You’re not lying?” he asked sweetly. I shook my head gently, resting my forehead against his, “No i am not” I whispered. The kiss we shared there was the most intense i ever had, full of excitement, fear and lust mingled into one sensation. i thought my head would explode, and right there and then, i knew with myself that i would rather lose my future than ever be without this. What is a man if he does not have his heart?

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We spent the night at his parents house, i walked home in the early morning hours, full of hopes, dreams and purpose. Admitted i was a little ashamed that i had cheated on Lis like that, but it didn’t matter. i would help the baby, by finding a job, paying money to Lis, so the child would have a future, and then, then i would stay by Izzy, my smile grew by the thought alone, to have him by my side always. i never even for a second considered myself gay really, i don’t think i am, or well i know i am not, but i fell in love with Izzy, and it was the best morning of my life, walking home from his house.

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“The next day he was gone, he split and never told anyone” Terrence wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “i missed him so much i thought i would go crazy, it eventually faded when Cyan was born, and later when you were born. but it never went away” Terrence took another sip of his drink. “Isabel eventually found out the truth, and when she had Seth, we were not even allowed in with the present Lis bought, and since then we haven’t spoke a word to each other, Lis kinda forgave me, but she didn’t know how close i was to skipping town, all she knew was i had a short lived fascination with Izzy, it was the 70’ies for fucks sake, things like that happened”

“Is that why Isabel don’t have any pictures of Seth’s dad?” Kane asked innocently. turning the bear in his hand, over and over.

“Maybe, i got one tho, its old, i think we’re your age on it, but Seth can have it if he want it” Terrence said.

“Yes! thank you dad” Kane said, his smile reaching his ears. “He will be eternally grateful for that”  Kane took a quick sip of his beer and cleared his thoat “The scar, dad.. didn’t Izzy come back, and you got in a fight?”

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“He did, and we did” Terrence said sadly “But that is another story, what i wanted to tell you was; don’t do like me, son. grab that boy and run like hell, get out of this mud hole in a hurry.” Terrence stood up and pulled Kane to his feet and buried him in a crushing embrace.

“What are you gonna do now, dad?” Kane whispered against his dad’s shoulder, “Maybe you should go find Izzy and tell him you’re sorry”

Terry chuckled “No, son.. i’m sure he wouldn’t even talk to me if i found him. But i don’t know.. But you really should go home now”

“Come home dad, sleep it off, and see if you still want to leave in the morning” Kane asked, looking up at his dad with faked childish innocence.

Terrence drew a deep breath. “alright son, you have a deal”

TBC. 

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