Characters: Early, Ferris, Seth, Izzy
Rating: M+ (N17)
Summary: Ferris returs and asks Early for a favour, and Izzy finally seeks out Seth.
Warnings: Adult situations, drug abuse, language, implied sexual encounter.
AN: I totally had to stop my smut muse, i hope i kept it within the limits of what is okay for simfic50, if not just holla! And i did it again, i shot what i thought was one chapter, which when i edited it turned out to be three chapters. This part was longer, but i cut it off, deciding that Seth and Izzy would have that conversation later, besides it fitted better with some other snapshots i took. This is written for simfic50.
help me, I broke apart my insides
help me, I’ve got no soul to sell
help me, the only thing that works for me
help me get away from myself
help me, tear down my reason
help me, it’s your sex I can smell
help me, you make me perfect
help me, become somebody else
My whole existence is flawed
– Trent Reznor
“Ferris! Man where have you been?” Early smiled, covering his eyes from the stark sun.
“Away” He just said, smiling sadly at Early.
“You look pale as a ghost, are you sure you’re alright?” Early mumbled, looking worried. Ferris looked sick and animated.
Early turned his head away, looking away from Ferris, “Whatever it is you want, you wont get it from me”
“I really need it” Ferris whined, grabbing Early’s arm with a tight, desperate hold. “I just need to forget, alright?”
“Nuh-uh” Early shook his head. “Besides i don’t hold any”
“Don’t lie to me, man. Not now” Ferris squatted down infront of Early, keeping himself steady with a firm hold on the other boy’s knees. “Have i ever asked you to share?”
Early swallowed hard, “Supposed i owe you one” He admitted in a whisper “You bought some for me when i was really sick, remember?” Ferris nodded, “All the others would just have let me lay there in my own fluids, in pain. but not you.. So this once Ferris, this once i will share”
“Thank you” Ferris whispered. “I just need to.. to forget”
“Did they hurt you?” Early asked oddly tenderly, careful not to touch Ferris because he looked mostly like a startled doe, who would flee if he made any quick moves.
“Do you need to go to the E.R?” Early asked, remembering his own humiliating trips there. Ferris shook his head slowly and stood up.
“I just feel.. violated” Ferris muttered, “I can still smell that place, hear the groaning, disgusting sounds, and see their faces.. Early, man.. what did i do?”
“You starred in a adult movie, my friend” Early said with a slight smile.
Ferris followed Early up the fire escape in silence. Suddenly Early turned around and looked seriously at Ferris. “For what it’s worth, i would have taken that job too, it was a shitload of money, so i understand. Don’t beat yourself for being stupid and a willing participant in whatever happened” He gently tucked some hair behind Ferris’ ear.
“They just dropped me off” Ferris admitted, his gaze fixed on his own shoes. “They didn’t pay me half of what they promised, and not even the half of the half..”
“That bites” Early admitted.
Ferris nodded embarrassed. “I took that job because i thought i could kick back some weeks, and just hang with Seth. He always buys me food and cigarettes, i just wanted to repay him” Ferris shook his head sadly “You know, take him out to dinner or something, just because he is so nice to me”
“Let me get this right” Early said, looking confused. “You let yourself be a human guineapig for some perverts in a cabin so you can take some guy to dinner?”
Ferris nodded “Pretty stupid huh?”
“Yes” Early said, shaking his head in disgrace.
“Hey man!” Early stepped closer to the other boy, “Let’s just go get high, okay? That was what you wanted, right?”
Ferris nodded and finally looked up at Early. “I am a romantic fool, ain’t i? I really, really like this one, Early. And i really wanted him to like me too, but..” Ferris smiled sadly “He wont as much as hug me”
Early was caught by surprise as Ferris suddenly hugged him tight. squeezing the life out of him. “Whoa!” He laughed. Watching Ferris as he ended the sudden embrace, Early took Ferris’ hand, rubbing it gently between his own. “Let’s make it all better, okay?”
He didn’t let go of Ferris’ hand as they climbed the fire escape, up to the top floor.
Early had asked him how he wanted it, Ferris had not cared and just said that he would take it any way that Early did. Early did him first, watching the other boy as he did himself too, the world was a warm, dull place. and not a care in the world would make Ferris move from this spot. “You’re my friend, right?” Ferris slurred.
Early turned his head, smiling lazy. “Of course i am” he said, closing his eyes a satisfied smile spread on his face, “This is good shit, man”
Ferris got to his feet with much labour, pulling Early up with him. “you said you would make it all better, right?” He whispered huskily. “Then do it, help me to forget” He breathed, licking the shell of Early’s ear.
All that went through Early’s head was, why he had to stand up to lay down. but he didn’t answer, he just felt goosebumps spread down his back, and it felt nice. “For me? I would do the same for you” Ferris whispered hotly in Early’s ear.”I need those days erased, please”
“Are you sure this is what you need?” Early managed to whisper.
Early let himself be flipped down on the bed. It was strange really, he had promised himself that he would never ever bed a man unless he paid him to. Yet here he was, looking up at Ferris’ impossibly blue eyes, and just waited for a kiss. “You can just say no” Ferris whispered, looking down at Early.
“You know i wont” Early said softly, smiling sweetly at the other boy. “I can’t, not now”
“Good, i wouldn’t want you to, either.” Ferris smiled.
“You just totally lured all my little tricks out of me, and will hog all my costumers” Early snickered.
Ferris laughed softly. “it was actually a pretty neat trick, that one with..”
“I know” Early grinned, “You seemed to like that one fine” He scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Ferris’ waist. “Are you okay again?”
“I am” Ferris mumbled, his eyes closing. “If you just hold me a little while before we have to go”
Early laced his fingers with Ferris, and spooned up behind him. It felt warm and safe, and oddly familiar even if it wasn’t. the last coherent thought that went through Ferris’ head was what he wouldn’t give for laying like this with Seth, spent, warm and close. Early snored slightly, making Ferris smile in his dreamless sleep. in some hours they would wake, and the magic would be broken, and their paths would part, and they would just be Ferris and Early, friends if their lives would allow it.
Izzy had been calling the number that Nando had given him, several times. but it was not picked up, In the end he had called the phone company and found out where the number holder lived. After much pondering he decided to go there, and one afternoon he had Nando cover for him and he drove to Byzantine Road, he rang the doorbell, but no one answered. as he tried to look in the window, a woman had stopped him, telling him that Marcus was at the laundromat.
So Izzy had walked there, standing outside, watching Seth for a little while, he finally gathered the courage to walk in the door. And as the door squeaked, Seth looked up, looking directly at Izzy.
Izzy walked in between the machines and over to where Seth had been sitting. Standing right in front of his grown son, Izzy had to clear his throat twice before he could speak. “Seth” He said, smiling weakly. “I’m sorry” he bit his lip, how ever was he to even apologize for everything, and not sound like a idiot? “I spoke with your mom, and… You were right, I am.. I am.. Your da-dad”
“I know” Seth just stated, not really sure what to make of this yet, so he just looked at Izzy with a mild interest.
“No one told me i had a child” Izzy said with a near whisper. “I didn’t know you existed, and for that i am so terribly sorry”
“I survived didn’t I?” Seth said cryptically.
“I can only try and make it up to you, somehow make up for the time we lost” Izzy said, looking back up at Seth, loosing his body language up. “If you will let me, that is”
Seth suddenly hugged Izzy, holding him tight for long. “You have no idea how many times i dreamt you would come and say that to me, i knew you wouldn’t abandon me like that, i knew you wouldn’t let Simon do what he did if you had known”
Izzy felt hot tears slid from his eyes, he couldn’t remember when he had cried the last. Standing here, holding Seth close he remembered, the last time he had cried had been when he had known he would have to leave Terry behind in Murky Mile. “Thank you” He whispered into Seth’s shoulder. “I will do my best, i promise”
“You have nothing to be sorry for” Seth answered, still clinging to his dad for dear life. “You did what you had to”