I turn to you.

author: az
Warnings; Angst, death, *R*
Summary; When Tristan stumble upon a beautiful elf, he looses his heart, but will it last? And is there a snake in paradise?

This is the prequel to *boy’s don’t cry* – warnings, violence and angst. (finished)


Ol had woken with a strange smell lingering in his sleeping chambers.. what could it be?. It was not like any other smell he had experienced before, but something told him it was danger. He slowly got out of his bed, and opened the door to the corridor. The lights were off, but blessed with elven vision he was able to see almost as clear as in daylight.

“ada? – nana?” he said, not really expecting and answer. His worried increased, but there was danger, he was sure that ada would take care of it. The large blonde elf was not afraid of anything, he had been a general for as long as Ol could remember, and the amount of praise he had heard his father receive at numerous military dances, was enough for Ol be absolutely sure that if there were trouble, Hîdh would prevent it. He would do something, and all the scary would disappear, he always did.

Hîdh had used the last 40 years teaching the fine art of war to his son, totally confident that Ol would grow up to be a fine warrior, Ol had argued with his father, for he would rather attend the music lessons with his sister, he loved to sing – to praise the highones. But his father had not been in the bargaining mood, and Ol had seen his defeat, and had to end the music lessons, to intensify the weapons knowledge. He had liked to shoot the crossbow allot. That was fun, and something he was a natural at. And he liked being praised by his father, it did not happen too often, so when it did, he lived off it for weeks to come. Knowing he did good. And that Hîdh was pleased.

Ol waked further down the hall, and stood at the top of the stairs. “ada?” he yelled with a shaking voice

/in just a moment he will come and ask if I had a nightmare, and chide me for being childish/

but there was no sign of Hîdh. Ol took a deep breath and walked a couple of steps down the stairs, so he could see the living room. It was usually bright and cosy. But in this grey light, it seemed dark and threatening.

“ada? – nana?” he yelled again, and felt ridiculously close to tears, right now he did not feel like an aspiring warrior, he felt like what he was, a child scared of the dark. “Niire?” he said softly – where his mother was, Niire was sure to be.

He walked further down the stairs.. this reminded him too much of a bad dream. And when he saw someone laying on the floor of the living room, he did not even think twice, and rushed down the rest of the steps. Once standing on the floor of the living room, he looked closer at the figure laying there. It seemed wrong, all of his senses screamed, it was his mother. Why was she laying there? Did she faint? Was she ill?.

/idiot! Purebloods don’t get ill/

he walked slowly towards his mother that laid on the floor, what was that dark substance around her? For some odd reason Ol did not know then, or after. He bend down and ran a finger through the sticky substance.


He stepped in the blood, and kneeled next to his mother, and as he turned her around, he noticed her throat was slit. “nana!” he screamed, not thinking about that whoever did this might still be in the house. “Aii, nana, nana, nana” he whispered and looked at her vacant eyes. These eyes had once shined with love, they had been brown and merry. But now they were just dead.

Then he heard a sound, a mumble.. he had stood up, no matter how much he had loved her, and his survival instincts took over. And he nearly screamed out in panic as he tripped in the blood, and fell on his hands and knees in it..

/hide – hide – hide/

he crawled towards the kitchen, and quickly opened the little hatch to the old pantry. Once inside he closed the door gently and slumped down in the corner furthest away from the door. He wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked himself back and forth, in a futile attempt for comfort. The he heard it again – the voices.. they were rough, and spoke a language he did not understand, he later in his life learned it to be the language of humans. But back there in the old pantry, he just heard the chilling sound of intruders too close to the door. They must have heard him, seen him.. and now they would come for him too. But Ol’s thoughts was quickly cut off, as a chilling scream filled his ears. He had never heard anything like it. But somehow recognized the voice, the voice that normally told him to eat his bread, and to not run in the corridors, or tease his sister. It was the agonized scream of his father, Hîdh. His strong and brave father..


silent tears ran down Ol’s cheeks, and wetted his bare knees. No matter how hard he tried, he could not understand this – what was happening?

/I will wake up in a moment and laugh at myself, for having such stupid nightmares/

but no matter how hard he tried to wake up, he did not.. and with a chill running down his spine, he realized that he was very much awake, and this was very much real. He would never again taste the sweet cakes his mother used to make, and he would never again return home in a rainstorm, and have her fuss over him, giving him tea with honey, and dry clothes, while they listened to the radio in the kitchen. And he would never again, have his father show him old photographs from when he was little and had smeared Niire in lotion. Or take long walks with him pricking up autumn leaves to decorate the hall with. All this was gone. And all that remained was his mother’s blood on his hands, and this strange smell in his nose. Now he knew what it was, it was the intruders that smelled like this. They smelled of fire and something he did not know what was. Was it mead? No it was not, but whatever it was – this stench made him nauseous, he fought with it for some time. Trying to be as quiet as a mouse, hoping that the intruders would give up the search. And when he finally heard the voices move away from the hatch, and out of the kitchen, and fell down on his knees once more, and emptied his stomach on the dirt floor.

He must have stayed there for long, he did not know for how long, but he sat still even though he had heard the intruders leaving for the garden, and had not heard or smelled them since. He had stayed still. But finally he gathered enough courage to crawl out of the hatch again, out in the kitchen that was now golden with the morning light. A vague thought crossed through his mind, that his tutor would be mad and yell at him, for being late.

He shook his head, and grabbed a large kitchen knife in the drawer.

/just in case/

he walked slowly into the living room again, where his mother still lay on the floor, now he could see that she was wearing her sleeping garments, and she had apparently been surprised on her way to the stairs. Perhaps she was on her way up, to tuck me and Niire in, he thought.. but that was somehow just a too morbid thought for him to end. His stomach turned once more, as he could see his own footsteps in the blood on the floor. And now he understood why the intruders had went to the kitchen, he had left a trail all the way through the living room, but when he had reached the door to the kitchen, he had apparently wiped all blood of him, and the trail had ended.

Ol’s heart raced as a scared rabbits, as he ventured into his fathers study. The first thing he saw there was his father sitting in his chair. But there was something wrong. His eyes was not there, his eyes had been carved out. He took a deep breath and screamed, screamed as one screamed in a bad horror movie.

/this is not true – this is not happening/

the intruders had maimed his father bad. And Ol needed not to go further into the study to see that he was dead – he had to be, his perfectly pointed ears had been cut off, and thrown on the desk, with hair and blood attached, if he had had more food inside him, he would have defecated once more, but it only became pained gags.

And then, he turned away from the horrifying sight. He turned and ran. Dropped the knife on the floor of the study. And ran. Had no sense of direction, or any aim. He just ran from the estate. Why had anyone done this to his parents? Where was Niire?. He had not seen her body next to their mother..

/idiot!, you did not even bother to check upstairs if she was in her bed – she is your responsibility now!/

he chided himself, but his legs did not stop. His father had once told him that these were dangerous times, and that they would soon venture to the city of the pureblooded elfs and live there with their kin. But they had never gotten the chance.

As Ol ran down the road, only wearing his pyjamas shirt and underwear, smeared in blood and vomit, his mind raced frantic, trying to figure out which way to run, to find this magical city of his kin.

Oh well. I thought id better give you guys some sweet stuff too – so you don’t think I only torment the poor elf, Ol (


it had been some time since Ol had fled the house of his childhood. He had first tried to run and find the city of his kin. But he had given that up once fatigue claimed him. And he had curled up in an alley. Feeling very sorry for himself. His dreams had been dark and troubled. So when he felt someone shaking him, he had woken screaming like a girl.

The first he had seen was two large purple orbs, with slim black brows furrowed. And the being seemed troubled, Ol had jerked away, and sprawled up against the wall behind him.

“are you ok?” a melodic voice said – that to Ol’s ears sounded like hundreds of tinkling silver bells

Ol blinked to remove the veil of sleep from them. And then he saw a magnificent sight – “w-who are you?” Ol stuttered and removed some of his unruly hair from his face.

The beautiful being laughed and released even more tinkling “I am Tristan” he said extended a hand towards Ol, “come”

Ol did not even think for a second if it could be dangerous or wrong, he just took the slender warm hand offered to him and followed Tristan. They walked through several little dark alleys, it seemed to Ol they walked for a hour or more. Until Tristan suddenly stopped before an old abandoned building. “It used to be a brothel” he snickered and wrinkled his nose, flashing a mischievous smile at the elf beside him. Ol smiled back and chuckled nervously.

Tristan opened the door and walked in, still holding Ol’s hand – Ol had wondered about this, but it felt nice and comforting, and he didn’t really feel like letting the go of Tristan. But it felt strange anyways.

The sliver haired being walked through the house and finally stopped up and greeted a girl, never letting go of the elfs hand. Ol looked at them, and heard Tristan speak some tongue he did not understand, which reminded him of that awful guttural dialect he had heard while hiding in the pantry. The Tristan gestured towards Ol, and the girl smiled an bright smile and reached out to shake his hand. Ol reluctantly gave her his hand, and looked confused up at Tristan. “humans greet this way” the sliver voice said, and smiled. “she asked what you name is” the silver haired boy blinked and blushed lightly. “what *is* your name?” Ol smiled back, and giggled “Ol Rem’ea-dil” Tristan smiled “what a beautiful name, it fits you just perfectly” Ol blushed at Tristan’s obvious compliment, and he coughed nervously. Tristan blinked innocently and gestured towards the girl “this is Riah, she is nice, and if you should need anything, just ask her” Ol nodded and smiled at the girl. Which was the one to blush now. And Tristan turned his head, and whispered in Ol’s ear, so close that Ol felt the soft lips brush his sensitive ear “I think she likes you Ol” the elf gulped and squeezed Tristan’s hand, this made the silver being smile. “come, let me show you where I live” and with that he dragged off with Ol again, down a dark corridor to finally open a little worn green door. He stepped inside and bowed dramatically before Ol. “this is my humble chambers fair Sir”. Ol laughed a wholehearted laughter. He liked Tristan, he had made him forget all bad that had happened to him. Had chased the shadows away.

Tristan let go of Ol’s hand, and to Ol this seemed a strange sensation, to be without that comforting warm hand all of a sudden. Tristan sat down on the only thing in the room, a madras with a old brown blanket on. “I am afraid that this is all I own” and then another mischievous smile showed itself on the fair face “and *this*” he said and pulled out a bottle from under the madras. Ol sat down next to Tristan and rested his hands on his knees, and for the first time he became aware that he was still only wearing a nightshirt and his underwear. At this realization he blushed furiously. Tristan that had been observing him, put down the bottle on the floor, before he gently rested his hand on top of Ol’s hand. “I think you are pretty, don’t be ashamed” he whispered, and rubbed Ol’s knuckles with his thumb. Ol looked up at the purple eyes, and bit his lip “you find me pretty?” he whispered. And Tristan nodded “very much so”

The suddenly Tristan removed his hand from Ol, and in a quick move ripped off his t-shirt. “there – we’re even” he chuckled. But frowned as, Ol looked like he was completely shocked

“what?” Tristan said irritated.

Ol composed himself “y-you are..” he whispered.

“yes” Tristan sighed “or rather, I *was* .. my real name is Thanatairan” his voice trailed of. Ol bit his lip “I am sorry” Tristan turned his head and managed a small smile “I though that my tattoos would cover the scars, but not to the eyes of the firstborn.. apparently” Ol slowly reached out his hand, and let his fingertips touch the fine scar on Tristan’s back

Tristan flinched under the feather light touch. And Ol quickly jerked his hand back. “forgive me, I don’t know what got in to me” he whispered apologizing. The angel looked at Ol and placed his hand under his cheek, lifting his head, to his own eye level “your touch could never offend me” he whispered. The elf blushed, not knowing what to do.

Tristan leaned closer “would you be offended if I kissed you?”

Ol shook his head lightly and swallowed hard, and the tinkling sensation he got when Tristan’s soft lips met his in a sweet kiss, went right down in his stomach, waking the swarm of butterflies that lived there, and a little mew escaped his lips.

“you taste like cherries and sunlight” Tristan said softly. But the scent, Ol reeked of death and fright, tears and sorrow. He dared not ask why, but he silently vowed to chase that awful aura away, with love.

Ol bit his lip, he had been kissed before, but never by another male, and never like this.

The silver haired angel felt Ol’s confusion, and laid down on the madras, padding the space next to him. “you are safe here Ol, I will take care of you” he whispered, and watched Ol as he slid down beside him. Tristan wrapped a protective arm around the elf, and kissed the tip of his ear “I promise”

The raven-haired elf relaxed some, and turned his head so he had eye contact with the angel, the tip of his nose lightly touching the others. “that explains why you speak the ancient language” he whispered. Tristan nodded, “I speak all tongues known in the universe” Ol blinked in surprise “even drow?” he asked quietly. And Tristan chuckled “yes, even drow..” he looked Ol directly in the eyes and whispered “Tsoss ussa, ussta ssin’urn wussrun’wa d’ssussun” Ol blinked again, feeling stupid. He had read of drows, little evil black beings that hated all but themselves, living underground in large cities. But had never heard their language, and had never expected to hear it from a light being. “what does it mean?” he finally said.

“this” Tristan mumbled, and tilted his head so he could kiss Ol’s sweet lips once more.

The intensity of that kiss made Ol feel as were he on fire. And when he felt a warm tongue playing on his upper lip, he let out a sigh. Tristan stopped and looked at Ol. Smiling at the slightly flustered face. But when his gaze settled upon Ol’s eyes he frowned “is something wrong?” he said and brushed Ol’s dark hair away from the beautiful face.

“I am scared” Ol admitted blankly. And turned his head to look away from those alluring large purple orbs.

“am I frightening you?” Tristan said with a strained voice, there was nothing in the world he wanted less, than to frighten the little elf

“no” Ol said quickly “… and y-yes”

Tristan turned Ol’s head once more and looked at him “I did not mean to frighten you. But you are so beautiful, trusting and fragile – I had to take you with me, and every second I spend in your presence makes me want to touch and taste you, to hear your voice speak my name, I never meant to scare you, please believe me” Tristan said softly, and caressed Ol’s cheek gently.

“I just n-never..” Ol stuttered, but returned Tristan’s gesture, caressing the angel’s warm, soft cheek. Tristan leaned into Ol’s touch and purred. Amazed of the effect his touch had. Ol let his thumb run over Tristan’s lips, and the angel kissed the tip of his finger lightly. “let us sleep, there will be a day tomorrow – and tomorrow I will yearn for your company even more” Tristan whispered and smiled.

Ol nodded. He had never in his life met someone this angel, come to think about it, he had never met and angel before. He would have to ask him why he had been deprived of his wings, but tonight was not the right moment. Tonight he just wanted to feel secure and loved. And Tristan did this to him. He made him feel warm and whole.

The silver haired noticed the change in mood of the other, and sat up, and kicked off his boots, before cringing off his pants. Now completely naked he lay down on the bed again, dragging the worn blanket up to his chin, smiling lazily at Ol.

Ol thought about it for a second, but then slowly unbuttoned his nightshirt. When he let it fall, he looked nervously over at Tristan again, as if to see what his reaction was, but Tristan just watched and smiled at Ol. The elf took a deep breath and ripped off his underwear too, and for some odd reason, he knew he should feel embarrassed and naked, but he felt revived and confident, as if he had stripped off his nightmare. Tristan lifted the covers, and let Ol slip down under them. And Tristan spooned up behind the dark-haired elf, letting their naked bodies meet. And it was only by sheer willpower he managed to kill his upcoming erection.

“pleasant dreams my sweet” he mumbled in the raven tresses, and Ol smiled “pleasant dreams my light” there would be a day tomorrow, a day full of light and laughter, Ol just felt it, felt it just as he felt Tristan’s body heat behind him, and as he felt the little blows of air in his neck.. /there will be a day tomorrow/

Translations; (drow) Tsoss ussa, ussta ssin’urn wussrun’wa d’ssussun – means – Kiss me, my beautiful dream of light.

Warning; this chapter contains mild slash M/M (don’t like it?! – don’t read it ) ***************************************************’

Ol woke with a smile on his face, the nightmares had not been troubling him this night. A broad smile spread on his face when he opened his eyes and remembered where he was. He rolled over to his back. Where was Tristan? – had he run away?.

/oh no, I should not have rejected him/

he was about to rise from the madras, when the door swung open, and the silver haired male entered with a bag. When he looked down upon Ol, he smiled a bright smile “oh you’re awake Beautiful” he said softly and walked over to Ol, and sat down.. Ol was completely dumbstruck and looked at the angel. Tristan just smiled at him, and began to drag a large variety of foods up from the plastic bag “I was not sure what you preferred”

The young elfs eyes opened wide in surprise “grapes?!?! – you bought me grapes!?”

Tristan looked concerned “was that wrong of me?”

Ol threw himself around the angel’s neck “no, grapes are my favourite”

Tristan laughed and returned the embrace “you had me worried there for a second” he admitted.

Ol let go of the angel and greedily grabbed some of the grapes. Tristan smiled, and picked up a grape reaching it to Ol. The elf stopped eating and looked at Tristan with a curious expression. “try this” the angel whispered and gently stoke Ol’s lips with the sweet fruit. As on clue the elf slowly opened his mouth and Tristan gently pushed the fruit inside, and as Ol closed his eyes at this sensation, he suddenly felt soft lips on his.. leaving his entire body tinkling with a strange energy.

And when he opened his eyes, he looked right into Tristan’s purple orbs. The angel smiled “was that not the best grape you ever had?” Ol blushed, and nodded shyly, and Tristan picked up yet another grape “would you fancy one more?”

But before Ol could answer, Tristan repeated his actions, and pushed a grape into the dark-haired’s mouth, followed by the soft lips. But this time Ol felt the angels tongue invade his mouth, tasting him, feeling him. He had never tried this before, but instead of the fear he would have expected, all he felt was love and accept. And the fact that Tristan was clothed and he was naked should have awoken strange feelings, but it didn’t, it just made him feel desirable.

Tristan let his hands run over the soft skin of the elf, and smiled as he felt the other relaxed in his touch

/ I will make you mine/

He pushed Ol back on the madras gently, and positioned himself on top, carefully not to crush his lover. Ol reacted to his ministrations, and the elfs flustered cheeks, and sweet purrs, was enough for Tristan to loos his last coherent thought, and just act upon his instincts.

He had climaxed too fast, much, much too fast – he had wanted this to last forever. The hoarse cry the elf had made when he had spend himself, still echoed in Tristan’s ears “I love you” he whispered and kissed Ol’s lips, red and bruised from kissing. And when the elf opened his eyes, he was absolutely breathless, the grey eyes was almost black, “will you stay with me always?” Ol asked softly. Tristan was on the edge of crying, if only he could tell this beautiful creature the truth. But his heart would not bear it. So he just ignored the request, and kissed his lover again.

Ol had stayed at the abandoned house for months. Stayed as Tristan’s friend and lover. The angel had made him forget time and place. Made him forget he was lonely and lost. Tristan had been overly attending, picking up on every little thing Ol had said, or every unspoken wish, or a wrinkle of his nose. The lf had thought it had been a question of time before this magnificent being would tire of this game, and of him. Since he did not feel he brought anything but bad things with him. He still had nightmares, but they were not as scary when he woke to two comforting arms, and a soothing voice.

Today Tristan had to take care of something, he would not tell Ol. So he had decided to venture to the marketplace, he was still trying to finish up on his skills as a pickpocket, which didn’t seem to go too well. But he was determined to learn, for Tristan’s sake, he had been supporting them until now, and even though he said it was no problem, Ol did not believe him.

He slipped out into to marketplace, and mingled in the masses buying, selling hustling and stealing, all in once big chaos.

After scooping out different victims, he decided on this darkelf who was apparently buried nose down in buying fruits. Ol snaked a hand in and tried to pry out the darkelf’s wallet.

He bit his lip not to squeal like a girl when the elf suddenly turned around and twisted his arm, resting a dagger against his throat. “Next time, pick yourself a easier target child” he hissed, and let go of the terrified Ol

“I w-will Sir” he stuttered and looked upon the impressive darkelf. He had never seen one this close, and all the stories he had heard from his father on their immense blood thirst on the battlefield raced through his mind.

But then the darkelf did something Ol had not been prepared on. He brushed Ol’s hair away from his cheek, and behind his ear “A pureblood, aye?” he said and blinked. Ol just nodded, too scared to say anything. He was convinced that he would be slain where he stood if he said anything.

“‘Tis’ a rare sight” the darkelf mused. “Aren’t you supposed to live with the rest of your goddamn snob kin, locked away from the rest of us?”

Ol just nodded once more. Not quite understanding all words the elf said, he had started to understand a little of the human tongue, but he still did not master it to the fullest “Im hiraetha” (I am sorry) he whispered.

The darkelf seemed amused and smiled “uuma dela” (don’t worry)

At this Ol’s jaw dropped to the floor.. he spoke the tongue of the ancient ones, how could that be? He understood that Tristan did, for he spoke all tongues know in the universe, he was a eternal being, but this – this was a darkelf, a vicious killer without conscience, a elf fallen from his golden kin.

“you seem chocked penneth” (little one) the darkelf said and squatted down in front of Ol, reaching him a orange “want one?” he said as casually as was he asking direction. Ol did not dare to reject the offer, so he took the orange with a shaking hand. Still eyeing the other elf. “Where have you learned?” he whispered before trailing off, not remembering the words for the rest of the sentence.

“Your language?” the darkelf helped him “Well penneth, I have lived long, seen much, heard much”

That was a cryptic answer, and Ol was not sure he even wanted to know how this *thing* could have learned the holy language.

The darkelf then suddenly raised a brow and seemed to measure Ol, “You know I can teach you” he said in a soft voice “I could save you from more embarrassing encounters like this”

This somehow made Ol relax, and he began to peel his orange and thought about the offer, he DID want to learn it, so he could pay Tristan back, but buying him a grand dinner or some other trinket. So he nodded again, beginning to feel a bit stupid “Uma” (yes) he said in a small voice.

And the darkelf seemed to beam, upon hearing this. “Then meet me here tomorrow at dawn, and we can begin the first lesson”

“Thank you..” Ol stopped, he didn’t even know his name..

“Amdir” the elf said, as had he read his mind. “my name is Amdir Shadowblade” he laid his hand right over his heart as a high elf or a pureblood would do.

“I am Ol” Ol said “Ol Rem’ea-dil”

“ahhhhhhhh, the dreamer of daylight” Amdir said and smiled “your nana and ada picked your name well”

Ol felt himself blush slightly. “hannad” (thanks) he whispered “tomorrow then?”

“tomorrow” Amdir said and stood up.

Ol looked down in the ground, and quickly turned and almost fled the scenery. What had he just done?, he ad accepted the help of a darkelf, just to hopefully please Tristan. His ada would turn in his grave if he knew this.

The next day Ol woke with Tristan kissing his neck, he stretched lazily “Where have you been?” he mumbled. Tristan never answered he just continued to kiss his neck until he finished at the perfectly pointed ear.

Ol turned around and faced his lover “Will you tell me where you have been?”

Tristan smiled and popped up on an elbow “Don’t worry about that Melamin” (my love)

Ol rolled his eyes and sighed, “Always the secrecy” he kissed the angels nose “Is that terrible that you will not tell me?”

Tristan playfully kissed Ol’s corner of his mouth “No” he whispered, “It is just not of your concern”

“Ai, what time is it?!” Ol suddenly exclaimed

“About dawn” Tristan answered, and licked Ol’s cheekbone “There is plenty of time,” he whispered huskily

“Forgive me, but I really have to go” Ol said and closed his eyes

“Go?” Tristan said surprised “Go where?”

“I have promised to meet someone at dawn” Ol said and opened his eyes once more, smiling at the angel. He was never going to tell him why, he would forbid him to go, stop him repaying what he felt he had to, Tristan would have no understanding for that he needed to repay this favour, this act of love that the angel had shown him.

“Can I come?” the silver-haired angel whispered and leaned in for another kiss

Ol shook his head “No, you have your secrets, I have mine”

Tristan looked devastated “oh” he said and looked away, before making a move to get up from the bed.

Ol pulled him back down, and rolled on top of him “why are you suddenly acting as if I would never return? I just promised to meet someone, not to elope to another city”

The angel sighed but stopped struggling “I just don’t like that you keep things from me”

Ol laughed softly “Yet you always do the same to me, Tristan my love, I promise I will return very shortly. And when I return I will bring something for you”

Tristan seemed to mellow and smiled “Alright, I guess you are entitled to your secrets too”

“Yes I am” Ol chuckled and claimed his lovers lips in a tender kiss “I love you, you know that don’t you?”

“Mm yes” Tristan purred and let go of his lover “You better run, for the sun is rising now”

Ol grinned down at his lover and pushed himself to his feet. “I will be back about noon,” he said casually before darting out the door.


Ol hurried down to the market, hoping that Amdir the darkelf had not left already, but when he arrived he saw to his relief that the tall pale figure was still waiting there.

“Good morning” he said cheerfully

“What took you so long?” Amdir replied and looked up and down Ol “Oh, I see” he smirked as mussed Ol’s hair

Ol blushed ferociously “no, no… It’s just that I… ehm”

“Sure” Amdir chuckled and stuck his hand down his pocket, taking it up again he opened his fingers showing a handful of coins “I’ll buy coffee, and we can discuss where to start”

Ol followed Amdir to a coffee bar in the nearby alley, they went inside and sat down by a little green table, Amdir ordered the coffee and then rested his head on his hand “pray tell child, why do you stay here in this infected city? I have never seen a pureblood here before”

Ol thought long and hard “All my family was killed by men” he said in a sadden tone

“I am sorry” Amdir said and began to stir in the coffee that had arrived in the meantime.

“And you? Why are you not out in the wastelands, cutting throats in this stupid war of yours?” Ol asked with a timid smile

Amdir frowned and Ol nearly fled the table. “Forgive me” he started

But Amdir cut him off “I guess you are entitled to an answer penneth” (young-one) Amdir took a sip of his coffee “I no longer fight in the war, because I was dismissed from my platoon”

The lie was so obvious that it lay as a thick layer in the air, but Ol chose to ignore it, if Amdir didn’t want to tell him, he was not to pry “I see” he whispered and he gulped down his coffee

“Are you in such a hurry?” Amdir said looking at Ol’s coffee cup

Ol nodded “I promised Tristan I would be back at noon” at Amdir’s strange expression he quickly added “but I can save every morning to your teachings”

“Tristan” Amdir repeated, “So he is your lover”

Ol blushed once again “yes” he whispered

“I see” Amdir said with a strange smile “very well, let us begin today’s lesson, we cannot let your beloved wait”

Ol stood up to follow Amdir out of the coffee bar; puzzled by Amdir’s reaction did they know each other, if Ol didn’t mistake much it seemed like they did. He promised himself to get to the bottom of this.

For a month now, Ol had been sneaking out at dawn to meet up with Amdir, Tristan was growing alert, and this morn he much against his own principles had decided to follow.

Just like any other morning Ol had clothed himself kissing Tristan on the cheek before darting out of the door. Tristan quickly did the same and ran out of the house in which they stayed. He watched Ol run around the corner and he followed.

Ol did not notice, he was humming a tune that was played on the radio over and over again, until he walked into the cafeteria where Amdir sat and waited, Ol ordered a cup of coffee before sitting down opposite of the darkelf “mae govannen” (Well met) he said with a boyish grin

“Mornings” Amdir mumbled and took at sip of his coffee.

Ol reached out after his coffe cup “so where are we going today?”

“I thought of a expedition” Amdir said and smiled

“Oh goodie” Ol smiled back “where are we going?”

” To the park” Amdir answered and put down his cup “it is one of the last summer days, so it will be our last chance”

“Very well” Ol said, “I must soon have gathered money enough for my gift”

“I think so” Amdir said and squinted his eyes, “we could go shopping for it later”

“Yes please” Ol said a lit up in a bright smile


Tristan was standing outside not able to hear a word but just seeing them, chatting, smiling.. He frowned; he knew he should be somewhere else. But he had to find out what Ol was up to, and when they finally got up from the table he saw the face of the person Ol had been talking to “Amdir” he hissed, “I should have known”

Ol seemed unaware of Tristan and just followed Amdir out of the coffee bar, heading towards the park. Tristan was about to follow but was suddenly pricked on the shoulder “excuse me dude” a voice said. Tristan twirled around and looked right on a scrawny looking boy “ehm, no need to look so sinister man” he said and chuckled

“What do you want?” Tristan sneered

“I was like wondering, if like you could spare some coins, me and my buddy there” the boy pointed at another boy further way “we are kind of like in need of some income”

“What the fuck!?” Tristan roared and crossed his arms over his chest, the boy kept speaking and suddenly Tristan thought he saw something and grabbed the boys slender wrist turning his palm upwards, right enough he had a circle of fine black hair “a werewolf” Tristan hissed

“So?” the boy whined “cant all be perfect man”

“And your friend?” Tristan said softy while holding the boys wrist in an iron grip

“David?” the boy said and blinked sheepishly “long sad story, don’t get him going” he shook his head “alright, he sucked all the blood out of the woman he loved” the boy looked thoughtful “would make a brilliant movie score man”

“Enough!” Tristan sneered, “What is your name boy?”

“Vanja” he said and smiled “but look man, David needs to go and hide soon” he looked up on the rising run

“Let him” Tristan said and smiled wickedly “I have a proposition for you”

Vanja turned to tell his friend something but his friend was gone “very well, I am going to hear you out” he said with a proud mine

“Do you have choice?” Tristan said calmly and smiled wolfish “then listen you dimwit, I want you to go to the park and find a pureblood elf and a darkelf, then come back to me and tell me what they did all day”

“Oh maaaaaaaaaan” Vanja sighed “why don’t you just do it yourself dude?” the boy rolled his eyes

“Because they would recognize me you idiot” Tristan said and raised a brow “did you ever get your IQ measured boy?”

“Nah” Vanja said and looked thoughtful

“Ai, who really gives a flying fuck” Tristan sighed and let go of the kids wrist “just find them and meet me by the old pharmacy on 156’th street at noon”

“I can do that” Vanja snickered “but what is in it for me?”

“Money… you must be 50% more stupid than wet concrete” Tristan sighed

“ohhhhhhh” Vanja said and got a dreamy expression to his face “see you at noon then.. ehm, what’s your name dude?”

“Tristan” Tristan said and pushed the boy in the direction that Amdir and Ol had left

He watched as the shape shifter left /I hope he finds them/ and he hoped it was innocent, by the gods he hoped they weren’t doing anything they shouldn’t


Ol was laying in the grass in the park having a sip from a beer “this must bee the most pleasurable field day I ever had” he said and chuckled “why did you think of this?” he asked and turned his head to Amdir

“I wanted to reward you for being such a good student” Amdir said and smiled

“Thank you Amdir” Ol said and laid down on the grass once more “that is very thoughtful of you”

“You are welcome, I was bored before you showed up, I had been thinking of leaving this town actually” Amdir confessed and then he too lies down in the grass

Ol was about to ask Amdir where from he knew Tristan. But Amdir was quicker than him

“Are you still seeing Tristan?” he whispered

“We live together” Ol said a bit timid

“Oh I didn’t know that” Amdir said “poor you”

Ol popped up on a elbow “poor me? Why do you say so? Tristan is a loving caring soul”

“So it would seem” Amdir said emotionlessly “But I know him better” he took a sip of his bottle “He found you wandering the streets, did he not?”

“Yes” Ol admitted and frowned

“And took you with him, swearing to protect you” Amdir trailed off “He took you home and made you safe and happy, before he made love to you whispering sweet endearment of love” Amdir turned his head to see Ol who was ghostly pale

“Y-yes” Ol stuttered

“Well then let me tell you, in the second he comes across someone that is worse off than you, you are out in the cold mate” Amdir said with a hint of bitterness

“No, you lie!” Ol whispered

“Do I now?” Amdir raised a brow, “Will you believe me if I tell you he have ‘beria’ tattooed over his heart?”

“H-he do..” Ol sat up and felt tears run down his cheeks “no, no, no you lie.. He would not do so!” Ol repeated and shook his head in denial

“Well then, be my guest to stay and find out yourself” Amdir said and took a sip of his beer

“Don’t mind if I do” Ol hissed and stood up and threw a little box on the ground next to Amdir “I bought you a present”

“You did?” Amdir said and blinked confused before he reached for the box and opening it, looking upon some little silver hairclips made to look like snakes “oh my, Ol… ” Amdir stood up and spontaneously hugged the young elf “they are beautiful” he said and let go of him smiling

“I’m glad you like them” Ol said completely baffled by that hug, it had seemed so nice and warm, so /home?/ “now shall we shop?” Ol said trying to sound chipper

“Yes, let us” Amdir said and fastened the clips in his hair

Tristan had been waiting for Vanja to return to him, but it felt like it had taken an awful long time by now. Tristan put out yet another cigarette, and looked up at the sky again, he wished it would comfort him, tell him that there was nothing to be afraid of, no reason to worry. But the stars were silent and he sighed loudly.

When all of a sudden he heard steps in the alley, and turned his gaze to wards the sound it was the boy, at last!

“What the fuck took you so long?” he said and crossed his arms

the boy blushed slightly “ehm I like forgot where I was to meet you” he mumbled

Tristan rolled his eyes “never mind, now tell me did you find them?”

“Yea, just how stupid do you think I am?” Vanja said and kicked a stone, not waiting for Tristan’s obvious reply “They had a beer in the park”

“Oh” Tristan said and let out a breath he had held without even knowing it himself, he was afraid to ask but he had to “and?”

“The kid gave something to the darkelf,” Vanja said and instinctively stepped back to avoid Tristan’s hands that grabbed his collar

“WHAT?!” the silver haired angel roared

“A g-gift” Vanja whined “he gave him a gift”

Tristan shook the boy as were he a rag doll “you better not lie to me”

“Please” Vanja howled, “don’t hurt me, I’m telling the truth”

Tristan instantly let go and shook his head repeatedly “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s not your fault”

“I know” Vanja said acidly and brushed his shoulders but quickly stepped back as Tristan looked at him again

“I should pay you” he mumbled and stuck his hand into his pocket and got out some money notes, he quickly counted them before giving them to Vanja “here, and thank you”

Vanja snatched the money out of Tristan’s hand “its ok dude” he mumbled and turned to leave, but after taking 2 steps he turned around again and took a deep breath “I was wondering… ehm if you… Perhaps, could like ehm, help us out once more? – I mean you don’t have to or noting, it is just that…” Vanja trailed off and looked at his feet

“Yes?” Tristan said and waited patiently

“I, ehm we…” Vanja mumbled and took a deep breath “would you perhaps know a place where we could sleep for some days?”

Tristan smiled widely “is that all? – Sure I do”

“You do?” Vanja said and tried not to look to dumbstruck

“Sure” Tristan said and chuckled “find your friend and come with me, or better yet, let me show you where it is, and then you can just go and find your friend and return later”

“Oh wow, thank you” Vanja said and began to walk after Tristan


Ol was on his way back to the house and was humming a soft tone to himself, this had been a strange day indeed, he wondered why it had felt so good hugging Amdir, it had not been like when he touched Tristan. The angel made his entire body tingle and his mind absent. Amdir just felt like home, he felt good and safe…

Ol stopped and shook his head.. What if Amdir was right? What id he was just a way of killing boredom for Tristan? This thought in it self hurt too much for him to finish, so he took another deep breath and walked down to house.

He entered and greeted the people he knew that were living there; he was looking forward to giving Tristan his gift. He and Amdir had been a long time shopping for it, and Ol had wanted to make sure it was just perfect.

As he reached the corridor where their room was he saw Tristan talking to some kid he had not seen before, and immediately he felt a pang of jealousy. But he braced himself and walked over to them.

“Hi” he said and tried to sound chipper

“Good afternoon my sweet” Tristan said and smiled a forced smile

Ol looked at Vanja “and who are you?” he said more acidly than he had wanted

Vanja blinked nervously under the elf’s piercing gaze “my name is Vanja”

“I see” Ol said and walked past the boy so he rammed his shoulder into him in the way, “sorry” he mumbled but continued down the hall until he reached his and Tristan’s shared room, and slammed the door hard.

“What’s his problem?” Vanja said and looked up at Tristan “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, no it’s not you, never mind the elf and his apparently crappy mood” Tristan mumbled and patted Vanja on his shoulder before he too left for the room leaving the shape shifter in the corridor.

“What the fuck is up with you?” he hissed as he entered and slamming the door behind him

Ol turned around with tears streaming down his cheeks “why do Amdir know about your tattoo above your heart?”

Tristan paled “what have he told you?”

“He… he” Ol stuttered and shook his head “he told me you knew each other”

“Understatement of the millennia” Tristan snorted and sat down in the windowsill crossing his arms over his chest waiting for Ol to speak

“He said you had” the young elf swallowed hard and looked accusing up at Tristan “he said you had been lovers”

“Is that so?” Tristan said in an arrogant tone

“Yes” Ol said and crossed his arms too

“What gave you the impression that I had not had lovers before I met you?” Tristan said and tried to sound harsh, but instead he just sounded childishly stubborn

“Nothing” Ol said and suddenly felt embarrassed by his outburst, what had given him the right to be mad? Why had he reacted like that?

“Kitten” Tristan said and smiled “come here” the angel spread his arms and invited for a embrace, which Ol was more than happy to receive, the elf hurried in the warm tender touch, and rested his head against Tristan’s chest listening to his heart

“Forgive me” Ol whispered

“Forgive you for what?” Tristan said softly “I should have told you, as soon as I found out you knew Amdir as well, it is I who should apologize”

“Do you love me more than you loved Amdir” Ol asked feeling idiotic and childish, but he just had to know otherwise he would never be able to relax in Tristan’s embrace again

“Of course kitten” Tristan laughed and kissed Ol’s top of his head, “I love you a hundred times more”

Ol tilted his head back and smiled inviting for a kiss which he received, he would never get used to kissing Tristan it felt special each time, “I love you” Ol mumbled against the angels lips

Tristan smiled to himself and kissed his way down Ol’s neck, the elf purred, this sound drove Tristan insane, Ol knew he would never be able to resist that pleading little noise, and when he felt the elfs soft hands fumbling with his sweater he could bear it no longer. He jumped down from the windowsill and stood in front of the elf, he claimed those soft lips of his lover, while they both worked with getting rid of each other’s clothes.

Ol sighed with bliss as he ran his hands down Tristan’s back and cupped the perfect rounded as in his hands, Tristan purred in the elfs ear, and rubbed himself against the slender frame of his lover, before he smiled mischievously and gently lifted up Ol and placed him in the windowsill where he had been sitting only minutes ago.

Ol giggled and smiled back as he wrapped his long legs around Tristan’s waist “you are such a good kitty” Tristan purred before he leaned down to bite one of his lovers little rosebud nipples, this earned him a soft hiss from Ol, and he felt the elf arch up, inviting for more. The angel grabbed the elfs hips forcefully and with one thrust he buried himself completely inside Ol. For a minute he stood still and watched the elf’s eyes flutter as he bit his lip, and as he felt the long legs around his waist pull him, he knew that his poor lover would stand no more teasing, and so he moved getting a good grip on Ol’s hip with one hand and the other on the window, he rested his head against Ol’s. Together they set an insane pace for their lovemaking, this was not sensitive, and it seemed more desperate than enduring.

Ol could feel the wood in the window tear up the skin on his flesh, but he didn’t mind, all he cared for was the tinkling sensation he had in his groin, and when Tristan whispered in his ear “let me hear you” he let go of all that was coherent, and abandoned himself to his instincts.

Ol was a good student and a fierce lover, and Tristan was surprised by the intensity of his own climaxing every time. He opened his eyes and looked at the elf thrashing around beneath him, doing as he was told, and Tristan was sure that they could hear his pleasure all the way down to the hall. And when a pang of extreme pleasure hit him as well he joined in riding out his desire.

The angel slumped down on Ol’s and kissed the bruised nipple gently, Ol squirmed and giggled, “I love you”

Tristan licked the nipple with the tip of his tongue and mumbled, “I love you more”


Several hours had passed and they were both vast asleep on Tristan’s mattress, when he suddenly woke alerted by a strange sound, it sounded like wings. He opened his eyes and was not surprised when a tall light being was looking down on him “Thanatairan” the being said surprisingly softly

“Ænideniel” Tristan whispered back but stayed on the mattress, keeping a arm wrapped around Ol

“Your time is here Thanatairan” the angel said ” you are to come with me now”

“No” Tristan whispered and looked defiant

“Don’t be a fool child” Ænideniel said with a little more force

“But I want to stay” Tristan said and felt tears well up in his eyes, he didn’t want to leave Ol, this was the first time in his life he had felt love, that was returned with equal force, and not just because they wanted something.

“You can’t” the angel said, “You are destined to great things, would you defy your gods? Defy your guardians? Humiliate your family?”

“Please let me stay” Tristan begged and tightened his grip on the elf

“I cant” Ænideniel hissed but let out his hand towards Tristan “Thanatairan I will not ask you to some again, I will be forced to slay this damned elf where he lie if that what it takes”

“No you wouldn’t” Tristan gasped

“Yes I would” the angel said and mellowed his tone “sweet child, I know you think you have found true love, but believe me it comes in many forms, this is not the one you need”

“You know nothing of what I need” Tristan sneered

“Don’t patronize me young one, I will tell you this though, this one” the angel pointed at the sleeping Ol “he have found his life mate, and it is not you”

“What?” Tristan said and slowly sat up “how can that be?”

“He will grieve you, and curse you. But it wont be for long, another will mend his heart” Ænideniel said and stepped closer to the bed

“But we.. ” Tristan whispered, “We love each other”

“For now” the angel said and a compassionate feature flashed the bright and beautiful face “the flame that burns the brightest last the shortest”

Tristan slowly stood up and took a step over Ol towards the angel, not at all ashamed of his nakedness “pray tell then Ænideniel, who will warm him when I am gone, tell me a name and I will journey with you” Tristan said this with a heavy heart for he knew this was wrong, but Ænideniel was a old friend of his family and he would never lie to him.

The angel looked pained “you already know who”

“Tell me his name for fucks sake” Tristan said harsher than he wanted

“Shadowblade” the angel whispered, and felt tears of compassion fall as Tristan broke out in pained sobs

“No that cannot be” Tristan sobbed, “He is… NO, you got to stop this” he said firmly and looked up at the ancient angel

” I cant” Ænideniel whispered and gathered the young one in for an embrace “no one can”

“I l-love h-him” Tristan sobbed against the angels chest

“You cannot stay here Thanatairan, let me take you home” the angel whispered and placed a kiss son Tristan’s forehead

Tristan sighed miserably, “Let me at least say goodbye”

The angel let go of him and he sat down and kissed the elfs lips tenderly, he watched as a silver tear hit Ol’s cheek, and he kissed him again with trembling lips “forgive me kitten”

Ol didn’t wake but began to cry silent tears in his sleep, Ænideniel slowly hoisted Tristan to his feet “let us not tarry” he whispered “it will only make it worse”

Tristan nodded weakly and let the older and much stronger angel lift him in his arms and left the same way as he came in.

– The end –


don’t worry, I will write more of what happens next and all *smiles* but it will be another fic.



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