Pairings: elladan/elrohir implied, Elladan/blond implied
Warnings: Character death
Summary: In the middle of a thunderstorm, Elrohir is laying in his deathbed,
talking to his grandson.
written for the 5’th challenge on the LOM forum, the water challenge, it is Future
ME, and is taking place somewhere in the 1920’ies – won over all best future
Here comes the rain again
Raining in my head like a tragedy
tearing me apart like a new emotion
Eurythmics – here comes the rain again
HERE COMES THE RAIN AGAIN
Laying in his bed, the man turned his head, which felt like it was as heavy as
lead, to look out of the window, not reacting as he heard the door crack open and
soft steps cross the floor to his bed. This bed he had been confined to for months
now, just waiting. Waiting for nothing, waiting for death.
“Grandpapa?” a voice said softly.
The man in the bed turned his head and looked at the young man at the end of his
bed; he smiled and slowly padded on the madras next to him. His old eyes could
almost fool him into thinking that this was Elladan come back to guide him home.
But it was not; he knew this painfully. “Armand, come sit” he whispered.
The young man sat down on the bed, and took the old man’s hand. “It is quite the
“Why are you here in this gloomy darkness?” the young man asked while turning and
opening the mechanism on the oil lamp, letting more light ooze out into the dark
room. “There” he said with a smile.
Elrohir smiled and reached up to caress his grandchild’s cheek. “How is your
“She is a bit tired” Armand admitted
“Tell her I told you that she needs more rest then,” the old man whispered and the
young man nodded.
“My brother was afraid of the thunder,” Elrohir suddenly whispered as a lightening
split the sky. “He was never afraid of anything but lightening – oh, and women.”
“How about lightning women?” Armand chuckled
Elrohir laughed a dry rattling laugh. “Maybe that too”
Watching the smile die on his grandfather’s lips, Armand looked at him. He knew
that they all were graced with long life, and that his grandfather was as old as
the oak in their yard. He knew that this place used to be a huge realm of which
his grandfather was the heir, he and his twin. Asking over the years, he had
gathered that his great grandfather had been a great ruler and a gifted healer.
But all was lost to the toll of the years, and none was left who remembered his
name but his grandfather. “You miss them, right?”
“Why would I miss old ghosts? I have you and your mother right here at my side,
alive and very much annoying.” He attempted a joke and a smile, but he knew the
kid would see through it, just as he had done when his father had told him, he
understood his choice, he didn’t. He never would. “Yes I miss them a lot,” he
admitted in the end.
“I still have a hard time understanding that this place was an enormous realm,”
Armand said, “and you as a young prince.”
Elrohir chuckled, “Was I ever…”
He squeezed Armand’s hand automatically as yet another lightening split the sky.
“I once was a young handsome warrior, feared by many, as my brother and I went to
battle, and the greatest battle of all.” He smiled to himself. “Listen to me,
don’t let me bore you with these old dusty stories of ash and regret”
“You don’t bore me,” Armand said and gave his grandfather a blinding smile. “Was
grandmother your queen then?”
“Oh no, child,” Elrohir whispered. “Your grandmother was never queen, and I never
“Why? The others left, right? All of your kin left. Then why should you not reign
this realm that was yours rightfully?” Armand said looking at this grandfather
with a puzzled expression.
“And be the king of what? Air and ghosts? They all left, all but my sister. Ironic
that we shared the same fate. She did it out of love of a man, I…” Elrohir fell
silent. “And so did I”
“What? I don’t understand,” Armand whispered. “You told me stories of your sister,
who lost her heart to a mortal man, and therefore she doomed herself to death and
“She had a son, Armand…a son, the heir to the throne of Gondor. She had a vision
of love and happiness; she did it for her unborn son,” Elrohir whispered. “I…” –
he took a deep breath and turned his head to look out into the thunderstorm again
– “…I did it out of love for my family”
“She asked you to stay with her?” Armand asked
“No, not at all. She was actually furious with me when she learned of my choice,
and already there she started to mourn my death,” Elrohir smiled sadly. “Nay, I
did it out of love for my twin, even though I fear he might hate me.” The old man
in the bed took a deep breath. “As the children of Elrond halfelven we were given
a choice by birth: a choice to either belong to the firstborn or to the race of
men, and Elladan and I…we swore since childhood to make this choice together.”
“Then why didn’t you?” the young man whispered
“I tricked him, clean and simple…I played him…but I did so for his own sake. You
see, he found love, where as I had only one love, a love I had had since I
remember: him,” Elrohir sighed. “Yes, whatever you might think, my heart was a
treacherous one and led me astray. But Elladan, he had found his call, I could see
it in his eyes when he looked at the fair prince, and by the grace of the Valar,
was he ever beautiful – the fairest of all my kin. But Elladan loved me too, and
was conflicted between the two of us. And so I…I took the choice for him.”
Taking a deep rattling breath, Elrohir continued. “All I wanted was for him to be
happy, so when we were to name our choice, to go with the last boat out of the
grey havens or stay, I asked him to name his desire first, and he did. I remember
this moment as were it frozen in time. He said – May Eru hear my voice, I wish to
be counted amongst the first born – and then I stepped up to our father, and I
believe he saw it in my eyes; I still to this day remember the silent plea in
those deep brown eyes.”
Moments of silence followed, and then Armand broke the atmosphere with whispering,
“What did you say, grandpapa?”
“Me? I said – may Eru hear my voice, I wish to be counted amongst the race of men,
to live till my body can no more, and to die into oblivion.”
Armand leaned forward and wiped his grandfather’s tears away, just waiting for him
“My father hung his head, never questioned my decision, but Elladan…he was
furious, he screamed and yelled, making a complete fool out of himself. By gods,
he was the most beautiful of all in my eyes in that moment; I always loved that
fire in his eyes, the fire that I lacked. He ended just wrapping his arms around
my waist as he kneeled in front of me whispering –why did you do that?- and I
rested my hand on the top of his head and I used all my will not to cry as I
slipped my hand down and raised his head so I could look him into the eyes. –
Elladan, take your heart’s desire and sail with papa. You shall be granted a new
life, and if the Valar wishes, a family, and I shall do the same- I almost
regretted as he cried, my precious Elladan cried as were his heart breaking, but I
knew I had done the right thing. And then, years after, I met your grandmother and
got years of my own happiness”
“They sailed? They are still alive?”
“You could say that Armand,” Elrohir whispered “but I shall never see them again.
I chose this for myself, so don’t you dare feel sorry for me.” Elrohir closed his
eyes and listened to the thunder, and the rain that hammered on the window; this
sound always made him feel safe and loved, remembering all the times Elladan had
spooned up to him for reassurance and comfort.
“Grandpapa?” Armand whispered a little worried. “Grandpapa?”
“Hold your horses, child,” Elrohir slurred half asleep.
“Oh, I am sorry, I didn’t intend to keep you awake, I shall go and fetch your
draught, before I retire as well,” Armand said and squeezed Elrohir’s hand.
“Yes, you do that” he whispered “Armand?”
“Uh…nothing,” Elrohir said with a little smile. “I’m just a silly old man, being
sentimental. Ignore me.”
“Silly is right,” Armand said with a cocky smile as he opened the door and walked.
When Armand returned, he found his grandfather in the bed with a smile on his
face; whatever had come to claim his soul at last had been pleasant.
Armand placed the draught on the bedside table. “I really wish we had had more
time – there are so many stories I wish you would have told me. But I shall pray
your gods were merciful and let you return to those you abandoned.”
Gently closing Elrohir’s eyes, Armand blew out the petrol lamp and the room was
once more hidden in darkness, only lit by the occasional lightening outside.
Beta: Dinen Glamor. – thanks for being so quick babe ((hugs))
AN: I don’t know what the fuck happened here *laughs* I had set out to write a
pwp, a flashback pwp. But then I don’t know… I blame the gloomy weather here. Or
maybe the tune I listened to, I have this tune with Cruxshadows… uhm all in
all… I’m terribly sorry I got so depressing. And oh this is set in about the
1920’ies or something. – written for the 5’th LOM board challenge