Genre: drama, romance.
Characters: Izzy, Nando
Prompt: 126 – Surprise
Summary: Say it like you mean it.
Warnings: language, adult situations, sap.
AN: This was actually the chapter planned as the valentines chapter, sorry for the delay.
I look at the cross
Then I look away
Give you the gun
Blow me away
I’ve watched a change
It’s like you never
Now you feel
“I’m sorry, it’s taking some time.”
“Ah there we are, I can see your ip is online now, I can order a new router for you, I think your old model might be what is causing the issue, or it could be.”
“No, no.. there is no charge, you just send your old one back to us.”
“You’re welcome, Sir. I’m glad I could help.”
“Nope.” Izzy said, shaking his head. “Gabi did. Is that a problem? I wasn’t aware it was a secret.”
“I.. eh.. It’s fine I guess.” Nando said, pushing back the chair to get to his feet.
“Funny, I had never seen you in a place like this, tech support for some small Internet company.” Izzy mused, “With a sweater to match the paint on the walls.” He cleared his throat, “They all worry about you, you know.”
“Is that why you’re here?” Nando asked harshly. “Did Bastian finally call you?”
“No he didn’t.” Izzy answered truthfully. “I came here to see you on my own accord. But besides that, you weren’t all that hard to find, Nando.”
“My name is Jimmy now.” Nando stated flatly.
“Exactly.” Izzy said with a little smile, as he walked around the separator wall. “James Wood?” He smiled, “I know you better than you think, I know that your middle name is James, and I know that your mothers maiden name was Wood.”
“So? It’s a common name.” Nando huffed. “If I had thought that anyone would figure it out, I would have called myself Callum McFuckoff.”
“Look, Nando.. Eh, Jimmy.. I came here to..”
“You don’t?” Izzy asked, blinking confused. He had expected a lot of different reactions, but this weren’t one of them.
“I don’t.” Nando said, “Now, please go home, and let me get on with my job, before you get me fired as well.”
“I see.” Izzy smiled, not knowing what else to do. Wasn’t Nando really entitled to be angry? He had every right to be pissed off, and Izzy knew it. He would just have to try again at some other time where Nando was less upset. “Can I at least get a hug, and something to report back to Seth? he worries.”
“Liar.” Nando said with a low, sad tone. “But tell him I’m fine.”
“Izzy.. I..” Nando mumbled, biting his lip. “Don’t come back. I’m happy here, trying to make myself a new life. I don’t need any old ghosts lurking around.” He looked up at Izzy for a brief second. “Promise me that. Promise me you’ll just go home, and forget that you knew me.”
“Dammit man, I am serious!” Nando frowned. “You were the one to show me how wrong I was. There was a reason everything I touched turned to shit. It was me all along! It was because I had never found me, the real me. I was whatever people expected of me. And because of you I got a chance to start over. So thank you, and goodbye.”
Izzy frowned too for a second. “That’s rubbish, Nando.”
“Rubbish, is it?” Nando hissed. “Tell me, what was I supposed to do? I can’t even begin to explain just how messed up I was, and I don’t need you to jinx this Izzy. Rubbish or not, then please respect this, and leave.”
“Jinx this?” Izzy asked surprised. “I came here to tell you that you were right, and I was wrong. I came here to apologize to you.”
“Seriously Izzy, that is just too late, and totally lame, about as lame as that sweater and that haircut.” Nando spat. “I don’t need your apology, I don’t need anything from you, Bastian, Gabi or anyone else.”
“Hey, I tried to dress my age, and not show up here at your job looking like a bloody queen.” Izzy said meekly.
“I don’t care if you showed up here looking like Prisilla, singing show tunes out of key.” Nando said. “I still don’t want to know you. Now, please, please, please, leave me the hell alone Izzy, and go back to where you came, make up with Terry, or find yourself some clueless boytoy like Bastian did, I don’t give a fuck.”
“I really am sorry Nando, I freaked out, and I know I should have told you what I was thinking, I shouldn’t have dismissed you like that. But I was scared, like really fucking scared.”
Nando just stared at him, not saying a word.
“I didn’t lie when I said I had a very hard time with the age difference in it self, I am almost old enough to be your dad, Nando. And I have known you most of your life, and during that time, I have looked after you, picked you up at parties when you were too drunk, gotten rid of unwanted suitors in the phone. I was your friend, your parent and your confession father in one. I just didn’t see myself as your lover too. Some part of me must have lusted for you, but I have no answer for you as to when I started to do that, I didn’t realise that the love I had for you had an extra dimension.” Izzy smiled, pulling Nando closer, “It felt wrong, and it felt good too. And I thought that by distancing myself to you, I would distance myself from the conflicting feelings I had. You might not understand this, but when you have my age, it is really stupid of me to toss someone like Terry, he would have stayed by my side, faithful to the end, even when I lost my glamour. I am in a phase where it should be more about safety and security than about thrills and pleasure seeking.”
“Don’t get me wrong.” Izzy smiled, “Just because I passed 45 is not the same as I should sit down in a sofa and be content with whoever was bothered with sitting there with me, it’s not like my life is over, but you know what I mean. It’s not the same thing you’re looking for in a partner when you’re 20 as when you’re past 40. Yet.. You did that, you woke that slumbering part in me where it was not about feeling safe, it was about feeling right, and alive.” Izzy sighed. “I thought that if I didn’t talk to you it would go away, and I thought that Bastian and the others would let their shit out on me, and leave you sheltered, guess I was terribly wrong, and I should have been there, I should have told them all to just deal with it, but I didn’t, I was wrong. And for that I apologize. And.. I wish you’d give me a second chance.”
“Well.. I did have other stuff on my agenda too.” Izzy admitted with a stupid grin.
“Go home Izzy.” Nando whispered.
“Does it matter?” Nando asked, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, knowing exactly what Izzy was talking about.
“It does, I hope I have change enough for all the coffee I have to drink, waiting for you.” Izzy said, turning around starting to walk out of the office.
“Are you always this sure of yourself Mr. Singer?” Nando called after him.
“Yup, It’s a part of my charm.” Izzy grinned, waving over his shoulder for Nando.