Characters: Ferris, Aleksander, Marika, Rainer, Nadia, Edgar.
Summary: Ferris finds that telling the truth is harder than he thought.
Warnings: adult situations, language.
AN: Now this is really far fetched, but my thought to make this work was actually a prince tune, ‘sometimes it snows in April’, and I know that Whit Monday is in May/June, but in my head I had managed to fool myself into thinking it was in April. Sorry man! Oh and this is a sort of a flashback chapter, it takes place right before the chapter 16.
Do you really believe that you’ll ever change anything?
Before anything changes you.
Do you really believe you will turn anything around?
Before the winds shifts,
And sends you in another direction.
It is not that I want to forbid your strange rotations.
I just wanted to say that I have a hard time,
With your best intentions.
The answer is properly in the wind,
If nothing else, then it tells you,
What direction you took.
Ferris came back inside and sat down in the sofa with Rainer, where he had been sitting before the cell had rung. “It was Seth.” Ferris stated, “He’s at his dad’s place.”
Rainer stared at the TV, emotionless.
“Uncle Rainer?” Ferris asked softly, puzzled at his uncles missing reaction.
“I suppose you’ll be leaving then?” Rainer said, not giving away any indication in his expression as to why he would ask something like that.
“Suppose I am.” Ferris said with a vague smile.
For the first time in that conversation Rainer turned his head and looked at Ferris. “I wish you wouldn’t.”
“Look,” Ferris sighed. “Tally and her family went home two weeks ago, and I don’t really know why I stuck around.. I..” Ferris wrung his hands in his lap, “I made a living out of lying, telling people what they wanted to hear, and more important, telling myself what I needed to believe to not feel like an actual person. I thought I was past that, I got a place to live, a man to love, and a decent job. And this place Rainer, this place drags me right down somewhere I don’t want to stay, slowly becoming someone I am not. I lie to people who pretends they care on a daily basis, I can’t deal with it, and I want to go home to Seth.”
“I don’t think Aleksander will deal with it very well, that’s all.” Rainer said, looking anywhere than on Ferris.
“I don’t care.” Ferris mumbled.
“I do.” Rainer just whispered.
After a few minutes in silence, Ferris got up and went into the kitchen where Aleksander was having a hushed discussion with Marika. Aleksander looked up at Ferris and smiled, “Is something wrong?”
“No. No. Nothing is wrong.” Ferris said with a little too wide smile. “It’s just that… ehm..” With Aleksander standing there waiting for him to speak his business, the words that had fallen so easily to Rainer, lumped up in his throat and refused to come out.
“Are you hungry?” Marika asked from the other end of the kitchen, “It will be a little while before dinner is ready, but there is cake on the table. Be a dear and bring some to Edgar too.”
“Yes, Mother.” Ferris said per instinct, and turned to leave the kitchen. Before he was reminded why he came out here in the beginning. “Ehm, actually, before I give him some cake, there was something I wanted to say.” He took a deep breath and then looked at Aleksander who just stood and awaited him. “Seth called.” Ferris mumbled.
“Is he okay?” Aleksander asked with a smile.
“He’s fine.” Ferris said, “He’s home.. And.. I’m not..”
“Then ask him to come.” Aleksander smiled, “This is a family dinner, and I suppose he is..” His voice dropped to a whisper, “Family.”
“Except I would have to introduce him as a college buddy, or my flat mate, right?” Ferris asked.
Aleksander nodded slowly. “For what it’s worth, Farit, I am really sorry it has to be like this, but you just don’t understand..”
“No, ‘you’ are the one who just don’t understand.” Ferris sneered. earning himself a false key from Nadia on the piano.
“Please, Farit.. try and understand, as the head of the family, it is my duty to find you a suitable wife.” Aleksander sighed, “I am having a hard time coming up with excuses, and please believe me when I say that they would never understand the truth.”
Ferris frowned, “The truth about who? me?”
“Yes.” Aleksander whispered. “Our people are.. are..” He searched for the word for a while, “Superstitious.” When Ferris just stared at him, Aleksander softly mumbled, “It’s a sin.”
“Really?” Ferris said with a sarcastic grin, “Compared to what?”
“Would you just listen to me?” Aleksander suddenly yelled, causing silence from the piano, and Marika who silently left the kitchen. “It is Pfingstmontag… ehm, Whit Monday, so would you please, for the love of God, wait till it is over with picking a fight?”
Ferris didn’t really know what to say, he just sucked in his breath, and looked away from his father, to keep from yelling. After a little while he returned his gaze to Aleksander who looked furious. “I didn’t mean to ruin your holiday and all, But I have had enough, and I am going home to my man, right now.”
“No!” Aleksander gasped, “You can’t!”
“Watch me!” Ferris sneered, “If I can find my way home from a half way around the world, I sure as shit can catch the tube.” He raked a hand through his hair, and spun around, trying to control himself from slamming a fist into the wall. “Look Aleksander, Don’t get this wrong, but I don’t care for your holidays, what I ‘do’ care for is Seth. And I am really sorry if that is an issue with you people, but that is how I feel.” Ferris’ voice rose an octave, “Want me to spell it out for you? I. AM. GAY. As in; I live, fuck and is in love with another man, he is ‘not’ my friend, he is my boyfriend! Deal with it or don’t, I don’t give a fuck!”
“Forgive me.” Aleksander said saddened, “I only wanted you to stay for the dinner. I mean.. I really wish you would stay, and invite your friend, Marika made more than enough food for everyone.. please Farit, we all missed both you and Tatjana at family gatherings for years, and…” He finally looked away from Ferris. “Would you please reconsider?”
“I’m sorry, but I have to go home.” Ferris said, the anger gone from his voice. “I am done with lying.”
Aleksander smiled lopsided, “I don’t think its a secret anymore anyway.”
Ferris smiled too, a little embarrassed, “Guess not.” He mumbled.
Aleksander snickered and shook his head, “You sure are Marika’s son.”
Ferris stepped closer to his father, “I am not you or Rainer, I am not really even a part of all this, maybe I was once, I don’t know. I am really happy that you all just let me return, and everyone has been great.. But you have to understand that I have to go, wouldn’t you want to go if you hadn’t seen your beloved for months?”
“I would.” Aleksander admitted with a slight not. “But I would have waited till the dinner was over. For the sake of my family.”
“See, that is just where you and I are different.” Ferris said, gently tucking some hair behind his father’s ear. “I have to go.”