Characters: Nando, Izzy, Seth
Summary: Seth is home again, only to land in the middle of a minefield.
Warnings: adult situations, language.
AN: i tried a different thing with the pictures, so it looks a little different that it used to.
This is major tom to ground control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
Ground control to major tom
Your circuits dead, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, major tom?
Seth had been at his dads place for some days, Izzy refused to let him go home when Ferris was still on family visit, which would leave Seth alone until Ferris returned. At first Seth had been puzzled to find his old room empty, Ferris had told him that Terrence’s daughter Dharma had moved in there, and that she had had better taste than Seth could ever even aspire to have. Which was true, even if Ferris made it into a joke, Seth had never given a shit about how things looked.
Izzy had left to do some late groceries, and Seth had promised to clean after dinner, which was what he was doing as the front door went, he heard soft footsteps over the floor, he didn’t turn as the footsteps came to a halt. “Did you remember to get me a beer?” He asked with his back to what he thought had to be Izzy.
Seth spun around and stared wide-eyed straight at Nando. “Holy shit Nando, sorry man, I thought you were Izzy.” He studied Nando for a moment. “What’s up with this?” He asked, “Where’s the girlie stuff?”
Nando couldn’t help but to smile. “I tossed it.” He stated.
“But why, man?” Seth asked.
Nando shrugged, “Just didn’t feel like it anymore.” He lied, and he found that lie fell easy. He squinted his eyes, “But what’s up with the homeless look you’re pulling off there?”
“I’m just not bothered.” Seth sighed, “But you’re right, I should have something done about it.”
None of them said anything for a while, and Nando shuffled his feet nervously. “Uhm, when’s Izzy gonna be back?”
“I thought you were him, so yeah, any minute I suppose, depends on the supermarket line.” Seth said softly, and then turned to Nando again, “So really, why are you here?” He smiled gently as he walked all the way up to his friend, “You don’t act like its a social call.”
“No, eh.. I” Nando mumbled.
“What happened?” Seth asked in a near whisper seeing Nando struggling not to cry. He looked over his shoulder to see a sportsbag at the door. “Where you going Nando?”
“Away.” Nano managed to mumble. “I just came here to.. dammit I don’t know why I came here, it’s stupid!”
“Try me.” Seth said placing a friendly hand on Nando’s shoulder.
Nando leaned in a whispered. “I did something I maybe shouldn’t have.” Seth just nodded as a reply so Nando continued, “Harmony left, Gabi, Julie won’t speak to me, I was fired from the club, and lets not even get into Bastian, I am sure he is about ready to murder me.. And..”
Seth turned his head slightly “What did you do, man?”
“I slept with someone other than my boyfriend.” Nando answered, “And was caught red-handed.” He blushed weakly.
“So you fucked someone else, what the hell does Gabi and the rest bother with that? Isn’t that really a thing between Harmony, you and whoever it was you screwed?” Seth said, puzzled.
“That’s just it.” Nando said, his blush grew redder, “It’s not that I had sex with someone, its the someone I had sex with that is the issue.” Nando laughed nervously, “Man, this is awkward.” Seth just looked at Nando, waiting for him to answer. “I.. eh.. shit, I.. uhm, Izzy, I slept with Izzy.”
“WHAT?” Seth exclaimed loudly, taking a step back. “Are you fucking crazy? What the fuck, man?!” Seth shook his head in disgust, “I can’t believe you fucked my dad, that’s just damn gross! Besides that, he’s way older than you.” Seth calmed some and smiled awkwardly “It does explain that Terry and Dharma moved out tho.”
Nando nodded, “Yeah, Terry didn’t take it so well either.” he whispered.
Seth raked a hand through his hair and sighed. “Why the hell would you wanna go and do something like that?”
“Because I’ve been in love with him since I was a kid,” Nando said with a tiny voice, “And I suppose I still am.”
Seth paled and sucked in his breath, “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bitch you, it just surprised me, that’s all.” Seth reached out for Nando, but in the last moment withdrew his hand, not sure if he should touch Nando or not.
“It’s okay Seth, I think I heard every curse you can imagine this last week.” Nando whispered brokenly.
“So where’s Izzy in all this?” Seth asked softly.
“I.. Don’t… Know..” Nando suddenly sobbed, as Seth pulled him in for a hug.
“I didn’t mean to ruin everything for everyone.” Nando wept.
“Of course you didn’t.” Seth said with soothing tone, holding his upset friend close. “Shit just rolls down hill sweetness.”
“I don’t understand.” Nando mumbled as he sniffled, “Izzy didn’t return my calls, I wouldn’t even know that Terrence left if Bastian had not screamed it in my face.”
“That’s Izzy for you.” Seth said softly, “You’d think nothing ever phased him at all, but I am sure he’s upset, otherwise I would know him very badly.”
“Upset that Terry left, yeah.” Nando sneered, wiping his face in his sleeve, pushing Seth away roughly. “You know what Bastian said? He said that Izzy thought I was a idiot, a gender confused kid, afraid to be a man, and not committed enough to be a woman.”
Seth just let Nando push him, and just stared at his weeping friend, pocketing his hands, not knowing what to do with them. “That’s just some shit he said to hurt you, its not true, and you know it.”
“So I thought that he might like be better as a boy.” Nando sniffled with a near whisper.
Seth took a deep breath, ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that told him that he was standing here discussing his own dads sex life, and how wrong that was. “If he liked you as you were, then he liked you just like that. He is one of the most honest people I know, and he would never have given you the impression that you were… ehm.. yeah, if he didn’t actually mean it.”
“Don’t you fucking pity me!” Nando suddenly yelled, stomping the ground. “He was drunk off his face, and I was sober, he could have said whatever and I know it. For all I know, he could have thought I was someone else.”
“That’s bullshit Nando.” Seth argued.
“Really? Then why is he ignoring me? I came here to say goodbye, and to tell him I was sorry I fucked everything up for him.” Nando shrugged, “With me gone, he might be able to patch things with Terrence… and..”
“Maybe he got a shitstorm too? have you even thought about that?” Seth said, “Maybe he was told to keep his distance?”
Nando’s breath came rapidly, and he fought to calm himself. “I don’t care. he could have picked up his fucking phone, just once.”
Seth smiled, “Maybe he had his reasons?”
“Seth, you of all people have to understand this; I can’t stay like this, now that I know that I was right all along, that he really was the one for me, then I can’t just watch him and Terrence make up and go on as usual, If I can’t have him, which I clearly can’t, then I would rather just not be around.”
“Oh Nando.. you don’t have to..” Seth whispered, but Nando cut him off.
“I’m going to Belladonna cove, I can call you when I find somewhere to stay, but you can’t tell anyone where I am, not even Ferris.” Nando said softly, looking down at the space between his feet, rather than at Seth.
“I promise.” Seth said, “I still think you’re making a mistake.”
“They all hate me, after all I broke up goddamn Romeo and Juliet with a one-nighter.” Nando laughed bitterly. “Tell Ferris I think he’s a great guy, and that he is always welcome at my place, just like you.” He looked up at Seth and smiled sadly. “You’re so lucky to have someone like him to love you. You know that don’t you?”
“I do.” Seth said with a small nod, “Promise me to take care, will you? and call the second you have somewhere to stay, even if its a motel.”
“I promise.” Nando said with a little lopsided smile.
Hours later as Nando had left and Izzy had returned, Seth had been reliving the conversation with Nando over and over. “Nando was here earlier.” He said casually, wondering what Izzy would reply, he had tried to reassure Nando that Izzy was not a jerk, but it was not like he really knew if he were.
“Oh really? when?” Izzy said just as casually, pretending to watch the movie on the telly.
“When you were out shopping.” Seth took a deep breath, “He came to see you, you know.”
“Why didn’t he wait till I returned then?” Izzy asked lightly with a little smile, “Didn’t you tell him I’d be back soon?”
“I think his courage failed.” Seth said, watching as Izzy paled. “Why didn’t you tell me why Terrence left?”
Izzy closed his eyes for a moment and then nodded to himself. “Cause you were fresh out of the ward, and I didn’t think it was exactly the best time to hang my shit on you.” He turned his head and looked at his son, “I should have told you, shouldn’t I?”
Seth didn’t react he just stared at his dad. “Why didn’t you call him back? Why did you erase all his messages on the answering machine?”
“I..” Izzy started, and the cleared his throat. “I can’t say anything to him that would help anything, so I saw no point in saying anything.”
Seth’s eyes narrowed, “Really? Nando is heartbroken, and you fucking give him the cold shoulder, way to go, man.” He spat.
Izzy shrugged, “What am I supposed to do? I’m sorry that he’s upset, but its really not my problem.”
“What the hell?” Seth snarled, and shook his had disgusted. “Anyway, he left town, that was what he was here to tell you, so I suppose you don’t have to worry about him being ‘upset’ anymore.” Seth hissed.
“He left?” Izzy asked in a tiny tone.
“Yeah, you totally tossed him to the lions, and he chose to run. Can’t say I blame him.” Seth said raising a brow as Izzy looked saddened. “He lost his friends, his family and his job because of you. and here you are trying to tell me its not your problem. Nice one Izzy.”
“Oh shit.” Izzy sighed, and then looked over at Seth beside him in the sofa. “Was Bastian hard on him?”
“He showed up in jeans and had cut his ponytail off with a pair of kitchen scissors. You tell me.” Seth shrugged.
“Crap.” Izzy whispered, fiddling his fingers idly in his lap. “Oh Crap, I didn’t mean for all that to happen, I just wanted.. I just.. I don’t know what I wanted, but I had hoped that it wouldn’t have hit him as hard as it did me.” Izzy took a deep breath, “The truth is that I was the one to pick him up, I can’t really remember that I did it, but that is not really important. I didn’t realise he had any feelings involved before the next morning. I should just have told him no, but I didn’t.. I guess I wanted to, I don’t know.. Feel alive again.” Izzy leaned forward and rubbed his temples, his voice muddled. “Terry caught us in the kitchen, and I knew I was in deep shit, I tried to take all blame for it, I really did..”
Seth slid off the sofa and sat at Izzy’s feet. “You should have told him that.” Izzy whispered.
“Maybe I should.” Izzy whispered with a little smile. “He’ll be okay, won’t he?”
“I don’t know.” Seth whispered back.
“I.. Eh.. I didn’t mean all that I said before, its just that… That I feel like an old idiot, he’s your age for fucks sake, what the hell could he honestly see in someone like me?” Izzy whispered with a little laugh.
“Beats me.” Seth snickered, and then turned serious again. “A whole lot apparently.”