Harbingers 4/4; A Ladder up to the sun.

Author: azzy
warnings: Strap on your big girl hat.. i mean seriously!
rating: M+/N17/ ADULT = not worksafe, or kiddie safe!
AN: This is the last chapter of the Harbinger story, i had to bite it over in two parts because of the amount of PNG’s, but the link to the next part is at the bottom of this part. Thank you all for reading this story, i really appreciate it! And i have to admit it was a hard story to write as well. So enjoy the last part, and remember all of the siblings are for download at babybulletproof@lj

Oh brother I can’t, I can’t get through
I’ve been trying hard to reach you, cause I don’t know what to do
Oh brother I can’t believe it’s true
I’m so scared about the future and I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you
You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung
Or do something that’s never been done

Coldplay ~ Talk

“Please don’t do this.” Imogen begged, halfway running after Camillo as he opened their parents door, striding into what used to be a dining room, now it was cluttered in garbage, she couldn’t even make out where the dining table was supposed to be under the heap of clothes, boxes with stuff, clothes and toys.

Camillo didn’t answer her, he didn’t even notice the mountain of what anyone else would consider garbage that he waded over and through to get into the equally littered living room. He only saw his parents sitting before the television, like he had stepped into a time warp.

“Ruben!” Imogen cried, “Don’t!”

Camillo ignored her still, and just tightened the grip around his gun. He could hear that Imogen was scared, but wasn’t it just like they had been taught in Sunday school? Hadn’t Abraham been scared when he carried Isaac to the mountain? Sometimes life demanded that you did things that frightened you. “Mother.” Camillo said politely, “Billy.”

Carol looked over at Billy, taking a sip of her beer. “I told the nurses that I went home to sleep, they promised to call me if anything happened.”

“I came to see you two.” Camillo said calmly, taking a deep breath before he walked across the filthy floor, willing himself not to look at the basement door, or the closet in the end of the hall. “Nothing changed, i see.”

“What the?” Billy gasped as he noticed the gun that Camillo carried.

Camillo looked at Billy. “Shut the fuck up! And turn on that goddamn tv, i have something to tell you both.”

He walked pass his mother and turned around, hesitating for a second before he raised the gun and pointed it at her. “Mother?” He said, “Put down the beer and look at me. Your son, remember?” Slowly Carol put down the can, staring at the nuzzle of the gun more than on Camillo. “That other kid, the one who pissed his bed, the little filthy one.. You remember don’t you?”

“Are you high?” Carol asked, and then muttered, “I told you Billy, that he would start using.”


“I do.” Carol scowled. “Now get that thing out of my face, boy.”

“Good.” Camillo said with a nod. He stepped a little closer, pushing the gun in his mothers face, “Why mother, why? Didn’t you hear me cry? Didn’t you hear me beg?” Camillo bit his lip, “Why didn’t you love me? I am your flesh too. It took me years to realise that you did hear me calling for you, you just didn’t give a shit, ain’t that true?” His voice trembled slightly, and so did the gun in his hand. “A mother is supposed to love their children, supposed to protect them from monsters.” Camillo took a deep breath steadying his hand, “I needed you to LOVE ME!” He screamed, “Never once did you comfort me, not even a sympathetic word or a band aid.”

Carol looked up at her son, her eyes a silent plea.

But Camillo was deaf to her call for sympathy, “What did i ever do to make you hate me so?”  Camillo forced his mothers head backwards with the gun, “What’s wrong? Are you scared yet? You should be! If i could i would let you relive all the times he dragged me down the stairs, i called for you, and you didn’t come. You should open your own closet and look at the scratch marks, I cried for you, locked in there, shivering cold in my own piss soaked jammies, you just turned up the tv volume.” Camillo said with an even voice, “For some time i thought you were afraid of Billy, now i know you weren’t, you just hated me.”

“Ruben..” Imogen squeaked.

Camillo looked up at Imogen for a moment. “How many of those scratch marks do you think is Grey’s? She deserve no mercy.”

“Please, lets just go back to the hospital.” Imogen begged.

Camillo shook his head, and looked back down on his frightened mother. “Mother? This is for me, and for Grey.” He whispered before he cocked the hammer, pulling the trigger, blinking as his mother slid down the chair and unto the floor. Somewhere he heard Imogen scream, but his mind refused to register it.

Camillo looked down at his hands, sprayed with his mothers blood. he wiped some off his his clothes and stepped over his dead mother. “Funny thing really, I just realised that there was nothing she could say that would even begin to interest me.”

“Ginny, call the cops.” Billy said sternly, but didn’t move a muscle, staring intensely at Camillo’s back.

“Don’t you fucking move, Ginny.” Camillo snarled.

Camillo turned around and with a exaggerated sigh and slumped down in the sofa, next to Billy. “She was trash anyway.” He said pointing at Carol on the floor.

“You need help, Ruben.” Billy stared at his dead wife. “This is between you and me, you should let Ginny go.”

“The second you shoved your cock up in Grey, you made it her business.” Camillo stated flatly. “Ain’t that right Ginny?” Camillo asked, looking up at his distraught sister, who just stood and stared transfixed at the dead woman on the floor. He returned his attention to Billy in the sofa next to him. “Is it just me or is it really a paradox bordering to the comical that you claim that i need help, Billy. Yet you are the one who gets your rocks off on little boys.”

A moment’s silence followed, “So on a scale from 1 to 10, how was my son?” Camillo asked softly. When Billy didn’t say anything Camillo smiled, “Come on Billy, we’re just two grown men chatting, you can tell me.”

“You are more twisted than i gave you credit for, kid.” Billy finally said.

“Really?” Camillo said surprised, “I am sure it means a lot coming from you.” Camillo relaxed back in the sofa, “You know i went to see a hooker once, you wanna know what i did? I paid her to cry and beg while i fucked her.” He laughed drily, “You’re right, it felt good.” He put his arm around the back of Billy who winched slightly. “Aw, does the gun make you nervous, daddy?”

Billy looked up at Ginny and shrugged.

“I thought you loved guns.” Camillo said with a smile. “You sure liked the one you aimed at me.” He looked up at Ginny, “Remember that?” He asked his sister. “You tied to the bed, and me fucking you at gun point. Fun times all around.” He leaned in and whispered to Billy. “What did you do with the soundtrack to that tape? did you dub it with someone else moaning, or did you leave it raw, with the crying, sniffling and sobbing?”  Camillo got up from the sofa. “I just wondered yanno, what paid best?”

Taking a deep shuttering breath, Camillo turned to his father. “Do you even realise what you did to me? you broke me, you soiled my very soul, till there was nothing left but fear.” Camillo’s face cramped in pain, and for a second Ginny was sure he would cry. “You made me a monster.” he wailed pointing the gun at Billy, only to let it fall again. “She cried and begged me not to touch her, and you just pushed that gun of yours harder against the back of my head. Do you have any idea how much i hated myself in that moment?.” Turning around Camillo kicked his dead mother, “GOD!” he cried.

“I gave you what you wanted, that is the truth isn’t it?” Billy suddenly growled, “You wanted her, you really think i didn’t notice that the pair of you were like rabbits in heat?” He frowned, “So don’t you blame me for her, or for you knocking up your own sister. Boy!” Billy leaned forward in the sofa, looking directly up at Camillo. “You did that yourself, Ruben. No one else.. don’t deny that.”

“NO!” Camillo screamed, “I love her! I would never have forced myself on her like that!”

“Really?” Billy said, standing up. “Is that why it brought you to a sobbing orgasm, like i never saw from you before.”

“Shut up!” Camillo growled.

“Except maybe that time where you wore those anal beads an entire day, and you got so horny you were practically begging me to fuck you.” Billy said, stalking closer, his eyes on the gun in Camillo’s trembling hand.

“Shut up!” Camillo whimpered.

“Or what about the time with Larry and his Chinese friend, what was his name? Tong or something.. Didn’t hear you complain..” Billy inched closer, the gun within a arms length, now if he could only confuse Ruben enough so he could snatch it.

“Shut up, shut up.. SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Camillo cried stepping back from his dad, almost knocking over the television set.

“STOP!” Imogen screamed at the top of her lungs, making both men stop in their steps. “Mother is laying dead on the floor, and you two are arguing over who’s most perverted!”

“This is the man who raped your son, Ginny.” Camillo said frowning slightly, “Our son, Ginny.”

Ginny looked away from Camillo, not wanting to confirm or answer, as if voicing it, made it real.

“I know why Grey would choose to die, rather than waking in this prison every morning.” Camillo said firmly, he pointed at Billy with his gun. “This man is why.” He kicked his mothers hand on the floor, “And this poor excuse for a human too.”

Billy took a step towards Camillo, and Camillo just hissed, “Sit the fuck down, or i shoot you where you stand.”

Billy slowly made his way backwards to the sofa again, figuring he might get the chance to get close enough to wrestle the gun from Camillo again.

“Ginny.” Camillo said softly, in sharp contrast to the words he had for Billy. “I am sorry that i scared you. But this is something i have to do.” He walked over to his sister, through trash. “I know I let down Grey, and you did too, we left him here with these vermin, and this is the least i can do.”

“Ruben..” Ginny sighed, looking down at Camillo’s gun. “This is not the..”

“I love you.” Camillo whispered, smiling awkwardly.

“No you don’t.” Imogen answered timidly.

“Don’t tell how i feel.” Camillo said, “When Grey was born, i was so scared that he would look like me, and that the world would see me for what i was.” He looked demurely away from his sisters hard glare. “I understand why you left, and i forgive you.”

“Ruben, you have to stop this.” Imogen said softly, in sharp contrast to her tense body language. “Give me the gun, and we will go somewhere far away from here, where you can rest.”

“As soon as i finished this, we will.” Camillo smiled lovingly. running a bloody hand down Imogen’s sides, resting them on her hip. “Just you and me.”

“It is finished.” Imogen said, shaking all over, sure that her brother had lost his mind.

“No.” Camillo whispered, stepping closer, running his hands up Imogen’s stomach, up over her breasts to rest them on her shoulders again.

“Please don’t.” Imogen closed her eyes and flinched under his touch.

Camillo swiftly removed his hands, staring at his sister with wonderment in his eyes. “You hate my touch, don’t you?”

“I just want blood on my sweater.” Imogen lied.

“Liar.” Camillo stepped back from his sister, staring at her wide eyed. “All those times i made love to you, i gave you everything, I gave you everything that, that bastard hadn’t perverted and tainted. Was all that just in my head? Tell me it was true.” Camillo bit his lip, not taking his eyes off his sister.

“Of course it was.” Imogen said with a sweet smile, but her eyes avoided his, and her voice slightly trembled.

“Sweet Jesus.” Camillo breathed. “Oh.. God..” He stumbled backwards even further, hitting himself over the head with his free hand, over and over, as were he trying to beat his thoughts into submission. “You never loved me did you?” He muttered, his face contorted in pain. “You don’t deserve better.. you little filthy.. you little disgusting.. look what you did.” he ranted to himself.

Imogen stepped closer. “It wasn’t a lie.” she said tenderly.

“NO!” Camillo screamed, making Imogen stop. “Your deception is.. I needed you to not drown, you were the only thing that kept me alive, dear lord i loved you with every fibre in my body.” He sucked in his breath, wiping snot and tears off in his sleeve.

“Ruben, you are my brother, and i love you, of course i do. But i am married to someone else.. and.” Imogen said knowing that nothing registered with Camillo.

“I thought you were my salvation.” Camillo said eerily calm, “I thought that Grey was the only decent thing i had done in my life.”

Imogen turned around and started to walk for the front door, when she heard her brother behind her. “Turn around.”

“No.” She whispered.

“Answer me truthfully. Did you run away from me? or this place?” Camillo asked, “I need to know, Ginny.”

“Grey, i ran away from Grey.” Imogen answered hoarsely. “There! Are you happy now?” Camillo didn’t say anything, he just waited for Imogen to carry on. “He came out of my body, but he was never my son. and that is the truth! I couldn’t bear to look at my own child.”

“Turn around and look me in the eyes, and say that again.” Camillo growled.

And this time Imogen turned around, staring right into the barrel of her brothers gun. She looked at his tear streaked cheeks, and eyes red from crying. “I couldn’t look at him. He was everything that i hated in the world. He was the essence of this place. Of him,” She looked at Billy out of the corner  of her eyes, “And of us.” She drew a shuddering breath, “Like a dirty secret you can’t hide.”

“I love you.” Camillo whispered, “I told you that so many times i lost count, but this will be the last.” He sort of wanted to kiss her, but it seemed wrong, he could tell how scared she was from her shifty eyes and trembling lips. “All the pain and fear will go away.” He breathed, his voice full of tears, as he squeezed the trigger. Imogen’s eyes widened, she opened her mouth to say something, but Camillo just closed his eyes as he pulled the trigger all the way back.

As Imogen fell at his feet with a dull thud, he opened his eyes again. he could taste copper in his mouth, and first he thought he had bit his own tongue, but as he ran a finger over his lips he realised that his face was covered in Imogen’s blood. “Look at what you did.. LOOK AT IT!” He cried, hitting himself over the head again, wishing desperately his thoughts would stop muddling. He looked down on the floor. “I-Imogen?” He whispered. “Ginny?”

Billy very wisely sat completely still in the sofa, not wanting to attract Camillo’s attention.

Camillo slid down on the floor. sobbing heart broken. “H-how could you do-do that to me?” he whispered. “Shhh it will be alright.” He soothed himself, rocking back and forward.

A long time he just sat there crying, hitting himself over the head, shaking.



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