Genre: drama / supernatural / romance
Characters: Seth, Dr. Roth, Izzy, Nurse Rayne & Kane.
Prompt: 98 (writers choice)
Summary: Izzy is not sure what to do, and Seth has a visit.
Warnings: language, adult situations.
AN: Kane is made by goodbye_sun, thanks for letting me borrow him (not that I haven’t said that 10000 times), And now this chapter was really hard to write for some reason, but then again, so is most those transition chapters that is really just a piece of story that leads to something far more interesting. xD
You loose yourself, you reappear
You suddenly find you got nothing to fear
Alone you stand without nobody near
When a trembling distant voice, unclear
Startles your sleeping ears to hear
That somebody thinks
They really found you.
Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to.
Izzy had been terribly nervous all morning, He was going back to the hospital to talk to Seth’s doctor who had asked to see him. Izzy felt terribly guilty that he had not visited Seth before now, but he had been so busy trying to get a place to live, and get on with his life. Nando had been furious that he had not done his hair or dressed in something decent for the meeting, but Izzy insisted that this was for the best.
As he walked up the stairs to Dr. Roth’s office Izzy had to remember to breathe regularly. He knocked the door and waited for some indication that he could come in.
Dr. Roth opened the door and looked at Izzy with a smile, “Mr. Singer, how good of you to make it today”
“But of course Dr. Roth” Izzy said a little nervously.
Izzy nodded “Is he okay?” he asked.
“As okay as he can be” Dr. Roth said sadly. “Please answer me this, how could you ever agree to take him back to that place?”
“I uhm, I.. I don’t know, I just thought that maybe it was a good idea that he would get a chance to close loose ends, and move on I suppose” Izzy argued softly but firm.
“I see” Dr. Roth said.
“The only one who can give him peace, the only one who holds the answers to his questions is dead. Mr. Singer.” He sighed, “What Seth has now is memories that he believes to be true, but they don’t have to be.”
“What do you mean?” Izzy asked puzzled.
“I mean that he was suggested a possible truth, in which he is the culprit, and Seth wants so badly to solve the mystery of that night that he is reaching for the only conclusion he could come to. That he indeed did kill those kids” Dr Roth said with a faint nod. “Do you believe him to be guilty Mr. singer?”
“Gods, no” Izzy exclaimed.
“You told him that, right?” Dr. Roth said, folding his hands to fiddle his thumbs.
“I did” Izzy answered, “Was that wrong?”
“Oh” Izzy mouthed.
“And this brings me to why I called you for this meeting” Dr. Roth said. “I suggest that we treat him with electro therapy, to erase any form of recent emotional high, like the breakdown that brought him here”
“Hold it!” Izzy waved his arms in front of Dr. Roth’s face. “Are you seriously suggesting that we electrocute my sons brain? How the hell would that make him feel better”
Dr. Roth sighed, “It is known that Electro therapy can take away emotional peaks and valleys, look at it like a giant shot of prozac if you will” He cleared his throat, “Seth would still remember everything from MurkyMile, it is not like that, he would just not be upset about it”
Nurse Rayne was rapidly loosing her chess game against Seth. when her phone suddenly rang. She looked apologizing up at Seth and answered. “W5 for Seth, sure got it, thanks” she said and hung up again.
“What?” Seth asked, narrowing his eyes. “What’s W5?”
“You have a visitor, Seth” Nurse Rayne said with a motherly smile.
“Oh okay” Seth mumbled, focused on his chess game. Truthfully he had not believed that Izzy would visit, even if he had said so. This was like a parallel world, and time passed on differently here. which in turn made the world forget about you, even if you never forgot the world. Outside there was things to do, keeping people busy. In here there were nothing but the 3 meals a day and if you were lucky a trip to the ‘garden’.
“Hang on, I’m trying to think” Seth murmured.
“We can just wait, Seth” Rayne said, getting up from her chair, watching Seth’s sad expression, “We’ll play more later, okay?”
Seth nodded slowly, and then turned and looked at Izzy. “What are you doing here?” He said.
“I had eight years to learn it” Seth said acidly. “Seems like I will get eight more, when I am let out of here again I will be a regular fucking world champ”
“Seth, don’t say that. You are not gonna stay here for eight years again” Izzy whispered. He knew that he should tell Seth about the agreement he had made with Dr. Roth, but found he had not the heart. “You’ll be out real soon, I promise”
“I wouldn’t do that” Izzy whispered back, feeling a emotional lump form in his throat.
“I never had a visitor here before” Seth admitted as he let go of his father. “It is kind of funny that you should be my first and only guest here”
Izzy said nothing, but felt sick to the stomach knowing that his son had been confined in this place for so long without anyone even bothering to visit to see how he were, if he had ever cursed Seth’s mother, now was the time. What kind of mother would leave their child to a fate that cruel?
Seth rose a brow, but then just smiled. “Nothing” he said, “A new guy came yesterday, but that is about it”
Izzy nodded, he knew there were nothing to do here, why was it so hard to carry a normal conversation? “Been sleeping well?”
“Sure” Seth said, not mentioning the medication he had to use to sleep. “No nightmares, if that is what you mean”
“Good” Izzy said, biting his lip. gods this was difficult.
“No” Seth said with a sad shake of his head. “I’m not allowed to have anything, anyway, so what’s the point?” he mumbled, sounding every bit as bitter as he was.
“True” Izzy admitted slowly. He smiled vaguely at his son “You’ll be out soon, I promise. And by then I will have found somewhere for us to live”
Seth looked confused up at his father, and Izzy took his hand, squeezing it gently. “Uhm, the hospital took your apartment, and gave it to someone else who needed it, and me, I can’t return to Bastian’s house. These days I am camping out at Nando’s, but I am working on it Seth. Don’t worry”
Izzy squeezed Seth’s hand harder. “It’s not your fault, son.” He said softly. “You know what? I am happier now than I had been for years, truthfully”
Seth lifted his head and looked at Izzy, and to his surprise he found no sign of deception on his fathers features. “Me too” He admitted, “I wonder if this is as good as it gets? Can I really ask for more? I found you, and … well that’s more than I ever hoped for”
“I hope so” Seth whispered, “I just sometimes wonder if I deserve better”
“You do, and I will make damn sure you have it” Izzy whispered back.
Later in the evening, Seth was sitting in his room, he had wanted to make a new collage, but Rayne would not let him have a pair of scissor, so he had tried to rip the images out of the magazine but had ended up destroying more than he had gotten. Suddenly he heard a soft whisper. “Seth?”
He didn’t need to look to know who said it. “Kane” he mumbled, “Where were you?”
Kane sighed, the sound was most like a breath of air. “I told you not to go” he said.
Kane turned and looked at Seth, “Amongst other things, yes” Kane admitted with a little smile. “It’s not true, you know that don’t you?”
Seth sighed and rubbed his temples, “Of course you would say that, you are a figment of my imagination, telling me what I need to hear”
Kane huffed offended, “is that what you think I am?”
Kane just watched Seth with a pitiful expression. “Your nan is right” Kane said, “Except on one account, you were never possessed”
Seth looked up at Kane looking like he was about to cry, “Then what happened? and why can’t I remember it? You don’t seem to understand that if I really hurt you, I would never forgive myself” His voice dropped to a whisper, “I just wanted you to come with me”
“Why?” Kane sneered, “If I don’t exist then what’s the point of me telling you?”
“Just do it” Seth barked back.
“You just kinda stood there, I remember the bottle broke when you dropped it” Kane said, his face was a puzzle of different emotions.
“What good would that have done?” Kane whispered, “And I remember my last thoughts being that I disappointed you for not being able to get in that car with you, after all the trouble you had getting it, planning the great escape and all”
“No” Kane said, shaking his head slightly.
Seth was silent for a moment, not sure what to say. “I was the one who fucked up, not you”
“No one fucked up, Seth” Kane admitted.
“If I had not fucked up, you’d be alive” Seth said softly, “I can’t say if you’d stayed by my side, but you’d be alive and that would be all that mattered, I wish to God, there was some way of reversing what happened, if I could, I would.”
“I know you would” Kane said with a smile, “But its not like that, you are alive, and I am not. Please make the best of it Seth, don’t waste your time pondering over who did what, when. Why don’t you try living your life for real? What your father is offering you is a real chance at something else than slowly dying in here”
“Of course I am right you idiot” Kane laughed softly. “Remember one thing tho, your father does what he does out of love and because he don’t know any better, don’t resent him for it”
“What?” Seth asked completely puzzled.
“you’ll see” Kane said with a mysterious sad smile. And with that he slowly disappeared, like a videotape that had stopped functioning properly. flickering before he was completely gone, leaving Seth alone in his cell once more.