Title: Not enough
Characters: Dharma, Terrence, Listen
Summary: Terrence visits Lis.
AN: for those who wonder then Dharma is not actually the generic daughter of Terrence. In the story he ‘is’ her dad, but sims generic wise, Moon is actually the kids dad xD don’t know why really, i must have clicked the wrong icon, i had meant for Terrence to be the dad. So i just decided to ignore this fact and just write it as it was intended. Written for the cool girls at simfic50.
I had me a wife, I had me some daughters.
I tried so hard, I never knew still waters.
Nothing to eat and nothing to drink.
Nothing for a man to do but sit around and think.
Well, I’m a thinkin’ and thinkin’, till there’s nothin’ I ain’t thunk.
Breathing in the stink, till finally I stunk.
It was at that time, I swear I lost my mind.
I started making plans to kill my own kind.
I said make a wish, make sure and not tell and
Close your eyes dear, and count to seven.
You know your papa loves you, good children go to heaven.
Early next morning Terrence had left the hotel he had grown tired of watching the ceiling, too much shit in his head, hating the way that the thought of Izzy’s kisses made him smile, and how the thought of Nando’s promise made a army of butterflies well up in his chest. And how ashamed he was that he was sad that he would never wake besides Izzy again once they were home, yet he yearned to see Nando as well, the thought of him alone, brought a weak blush to Terrence’s cheeks. Hating that he had to choose, and that was not even the right word. He knew he should stop seeing Izzy at night, but it was like an bad habit he didn’t knew how to kick. How he wished he had never come along for this trip, how he wished that everything had been different. Feeling guilty that he had the luxury of worrying about his lovelife. He was here to see Lis, and most of all Cyan and Kane’s final resting place. Even if he had had time while in prison to get used to the thought of never seeing his children again, that their life had been cut short by something he had failed to keep them safe from, something he had not foreseen. Seemed like when he had taken a life, in his own way saving another life for the sake of his sons happiness, he had angered something else, something that had taken away what he had cherished the most. Getting out of bed at dawn he had left in a hurry, needing to get this over with. He had to see Lis.
He had looked her up in the local phone book, he noticed with a smile she was listed as Franklin, her maiden name. He was not really surprised, but it looked weird in written word, looked final. He noted she had moved from their house, and down to the houses that had been built where they had once lived in barracks when Kane had been nothing but a toddler.
Tearing out the page of the phone book, he took off, driving to the address. Sitting in his car for almost an hour, watching as lights went on and off inside. Trying to gather the courage to go inside. He finally got out of the car and walked up the stairs and knocked the front door. A girl who looked about the age of 8 opened the door. “Who are you?” She asked.
“A friend of your mothers” Terrence said with a smile, “Is she home?”
“Hey Lis” Terrence said, noting with a winch that Lis spun around with a terrified expression.
“Terry!” She gasped.
“Yeah” Terrence said smiling a disarming smile. “I thought i would do a house call while i was in Murky Mile”
“I am” Terry admitted, and followed Lis to the dinner table. “Nice place you have here” He said, in lack of other things to politely converse with his ex-wife.
“Thanks” Lis said, placing a plate on the table, nodding to Terry to sit. “How did you find me?” She finally asked.
“The local phone book” Terrence stated, poking his food with a fork. “Miss Franklin, huh?” he smiled bitterly.
“Why would i want to keep your name?” Lis said coldly. “It just reminded me of a time of my life i would rather forget”
“No, Terry. You were nothing at all” She answered flatly. Terrence hung his head and nodded, knowing she was right. “And you abandoned me when i needed you the most, you fucking bastard!” She suddenly hissed.
“I didn’t mean to” Terrence said in childish defence. “Look Lis, i don’t have an excuse for what i did, but it was never my intention to abandon you, you know me better than that”
“Not really” Lis said, “The husband i had, and the Terry Williams i knew, would not shoot a man’s face off either”
Terrence sat in silence for a while, feeling how sorrow and anger mingled within. Finally turning to Lis he growled; “They were my kids too, Lis! don’t you think i mourned? don’t you think i cried? Don’t you think i wept when i was told my children had been buried and i had not had a chance to be there. Don’t you think i lived with the guilt of not protecting them from whatever took them from us? And then you send your lawyer along with the divorce papers, you didn’t even show up yourself! Don’t you think that hurt?” Terrence took a deep breath, “Looking at Seth, i can’t stop thinking about that they would have been adults by now, maybe we had even had a grandchild” His voice rose, “Do you have any idea what i would give for holding my grandchild? Instead i have nothing! Instead of my children i have a stone plate with a name on”
Silence again, both of them not knowing what to say. most of all Terrence felt really awkward being here, looking at the woman he had known all his life, the woman who had born his children, yet he didn’t belong here any more.
“What about the kid?” Terrence finally asked.
“Cyan” Terrence answered truthfully.
“So what do you think Mr. Genius?” Lis said flatly, looking over her shoulder to make sure that Dharma did not hear her.
“Is she mine?” Terrence finally asked not daring to look at Lis, “You didn’t file for child support so i figured that you had found yourself some other man and..”
“Well” Lis sighed. “The other ma, as you call him, he wanted a paternity test, and it proved negative”
Terrence turned in his seat and looked at Lis, “So he left you?” Lis nodded. “I’m sorry” Terrence mumbled, “I had wanted for you to be happy”
Terrence didn’t know what to say, a part of him was furious that she would keep this from him, completely denying him his own child. the knowledge of another baby could perhaps have dulled his grief over his other children. or not.. Maybe Lis was right? Maybe it was a snuggle blanket? He knew as well as Lis did that they could never go back to how it was. neither of them really wanted to. “I understand” he whispered.
“I know she would really like to meet her daddy” Lis said with a timid smile, “If you would like to meet her that is”
“I’m not sure, Lis.. I mean.. I came to see Kane and Cyan’s graves, leave them a flower and return to SimCity, i didn’t plan to stick around”
Terrence sat in thought for a while. Then finally nodded. “How could i deny any child of mine anything?”
Lis smiled for the first time that morning. “No that was never your strong side”. “Come” She said, getting up from the chair “Dharma!” she called “Come here please”
The kid came out from her room and looked at her mom and the strange man. “Mom?” She said.
Lis smiled again and patted Terrence on the shoulder, “This is Terry, he is Kane and Cyan’s dad” She looked from her daughter to Terry, “And he is also your daddy, why don’t you come say hello, huh?”
Dharma took some small steps towards the man who supposedly was her father, and Lis walked past her and into the kitchen.
“I know” Terrence said with a smile, fighting ridiculous tears seeing the child in front of him. “I’m Terry”
“Do i call you daddy or Terry?” Dharma asked innocently.
“You can call me whatever you want to” Terrence said.
“Can i call you fuckface then?” Dharma laughed, and Terrence laughed with her. both ignoring Lis’ frown.
“Eh” Terrence mumbled. “I live far from here, but you are always welcome to visit if you want to”
“Do you live all alone then?” She asked.
“I share a house with this guy, Seth” Terrence said, “He was one of your brother’s friends”
“Really?” Dharma asked, remembering seeing photos of her siblings. Other than that her mother rarely talked about them. “Cool”
“Don’t know, I came here with Seth and Izzy, and they have their stuff they need to do, so i guess i will just hang around till they want to leave” Terrence said with a shrug.
“Izzy and Seth?” Lis asked “Where the hell would they go here? i wouldn’t reckon they would be very welcome anywhere”
“They are at Isabel’s” Terry stated, “And i think Izzy wants to see his mama too” Looking from Lis to Dharma, Terry sighed with a little smile, “And Seth and I wanted to visit the cemetery” He turned to Lis, looking her straight into her eyes “I need to see it, i need to.. say goodbye”
“I understand” Lis said, hugging Terrence tight in a strange tender moment. “They are in the far eastern corner” She whispered in Terry’s ear.
“Don’t know my sweet” Lis said softly.
“I can come by and visit you before i return home” Terrence said, feeling uncomfortable, he wanted to scoop up the child and take her with him, yet he knew that she belonged with her mother, they belonged here in Murky Mile along with the rest of the family.
Terrence laughed mirthlessly, “I will”, he reached out and ruffled Dharma’s hair playfully. “See you around squirt” Dharma crossed her arms offended. And Terrence smiled, “Alright little lady, take care of yourself and your mama for me, okay?”
“See you around daddy, and i will” She said, watching as her father left the house.