After my own heart 18/?

AN: The meaning of the two first lines of that song  ‘sing a song of sixpence, pocket full of rye’ would mean that the pirates would set out to sea for riches, but often returned without any loot, and would only have ‘pocket full of rye = nada, zero, nothing, zip’.

Sing a song of Sixpence – part 1

The streets are full of blind children
A cold wind blows through the city’s empty skull
Things fall from the sky; radios, prescription pills, newspapers,
Soap and broken glass.

This early evening’s music
Is made of noise from dying machines
The nylonwind blows cold
And covers the living’s skin
With a thin layer of pain.

-M. Strunge

Caleb didn’t move a muscle as Cain entered the room, Cain stood by the side of his bed and waited for a long time, finally he opened his mouth. “Gem” he said, his voice sounded raw like did he have a sore throat. “Is there anything you need?” He took a step closer to the bed, watching the vampire on it carefully. “Is there anything I can bring you?”

“Your car keys” Caleb said acidly, but didn’t move to look in Cain’s direction.

“I can’t give you those, you know that” Cain said. “I’m sorry”

“What the hell are you sorry for?” Caleb sneered. “You’re just following orders, right?”

“Right” Cain agreed with a little nod, in a attempt to change the topic, Cain smiled and quickly added “I see the clothes fit, they suit you.”

“Yeah, forgot to thank you for those” Caleb mumbled acidly, still staring off into the stone wall. “Yours?”

“Yes” Cain admitted.



“Where the fuck am I?” Caleb asked in a demanding tone.

Cain smiled to Caleb’s back. “The crypts under the Hotel” Before Caleb could say anything Cain stepped even closer, every step echoing in the room. “I know they were sealed off, but a tragic chain of events have led to Lord Aries reopening them, and moving us all down here to live”

Caleb blinked, “Damn”

“I’m afraid you will have to ask your brother for the details” Cain said politely.

“Details? Did Masters love nest burn down or something” Caleb asked flatly, still not looking at Cain.

“No, The Hotel still stands, but we were not safe there anymore” Cain stated.

“If there is nothing more I can do for you, I will come back for you soon, and take you to Lord Aries” Cain said, clicking his tongue before he turned around and walked straight for the door.

“Wait!” Caleb called, getting up from the bed. “Don’t be like that, man” he whined, sitting up on the mattress he turned his head and looked at Cain, “I’m not asking you for classified Intel, I asked you why you couldn’t stay at the hotel anymore, that’s it”

Cain nodded slowly. “ Lycans” was his mumbled answer.

Caleb blinked confused, “Shape shifters? Are you seriously telling me that you live like rats in sewers, because of them?”

Cain looked like this was the last place on earth he wanted to be right now. “I am” He finally whispered.

Caleb walked over to Cain with a smile on his lips. “You’re shitting me” He said grinning as he stood in front of the other vampire, who to his surprise looked uncomfortable by the whole situation.

“I wish I was” was Cain’s answer, while making great effort to look everywhere else than on the vampire right in front of him.

Caleb laughed softly, “priceless”. He tilted his head and looked curious at Cain, “What’s wrong? You seem skittish” Caleb smiled sweetly, holding out his hands, turning it to show Cain his palms. “I’m quite harmless” He shrugged, “Besides, I’m ‘your’ prisoner, not the other way around”

Cain took a step back, unaware that he did it. “You are not anybody’s prisoner, Gemini” Cain answered awkwardly.

“Could have fooled me” Caleb said a little more sarcastic than he wanted to.

“you’re Lord Aries’ guest, I am just your.. uhm.. caretaker for now” Cain said softly, “Actually I am forbidden to even carry this sort of conversation with you to begin with, so..” Cain’s voice trailed off into silence.

“Don’t worry Cain, I won’t get you in trouble, if you want me to I will sit down on the bed and behave” Caleb offered with a disarming smile. He was lying through his teeth, and he suspected that Cain might know, but he seemed like he was thinking about it none the less.

“I would appreciate that” Cain finally said. tripping nervously on the spot.

Instead of going back to the bed, Caleb took another step forward, watching as Cain took a step backwards. “It’s been terribly long Cain, what, fifty years or something?” Caleb smiled shyly “I thought we could maybe, you know.. talk. We used to be friend’s Cain, remember?”

Cain’s lips were bloodless lines. “sixty, and you are nobody’s friend Gems” He finally growled. turning his head away staring off into the air, “I ain’t telling you shit”

Caleb hung his head and shook his head “Hey, I wouldn’t tell me anything either if I were you.” smiling smugly he looked up again at Cain. “You really are the worst liar in the world Cain, and I know that you hate me, and I know that there is a reason that you are the one that picked me up, and that you are the one that has to keep me company now, while my brother fucks half the guild or what the hell he does for kicks these days.” Before Cain could answer Caleb continued, “I understand you just fine man, I betrayed you, and not only did I betray your trust, I tossed your love and flowery words away, and then left you here to take whatever punishment my brother could conjure up. And I can tell that you really, really don’t want to be here, trying to carry a civilized conversation with me, and I understand that too. I treated you like shit and tricked you”

“Don’t” Cain whimpered, holding his hands up to keep Caleb three steps away.

“Don’t what?” Caleb asked softly, “apologize?” When Cain nodded, Caleb smiled again, “You know what? Your punishment was nothing next to what Aries will do to me when he has the chance” He nodded to himself, “See I betrayed him even more than I did you” Caleb raked a hand through his hair, “I don’t even understand why he brought me here, I had expected him to kill me on sight”

“He never trusted me again” Cain said, looking slightly hurt. “I was his most trusted peon, and I chose sides with you, the enemy. Do you even know what they do to traitors?”

Caleb sighed “Ravenscove?”

“No, the tribunal” Cain admitted with an emotional expression bordering between sorrow and regret.

Caleb nodded, “Yeah I know” He admitted, “For what it’s worth Cain, then I’m sorry”

Cain laughed mirthlessly, “I’m sure your heart bleeds”

“Point taken” Caleb mumbled. “If you don’t want my apology, lord knows you have every right to deny it”

“All I ask is that you don’t create more trouble for me” Cain said, sounding almost like he was begging.

“I promise” Caleb tossed his arms out in a carefree expression.

Suddenly a loud bell sounded, and Cain looked relieved, “Come, follow me” He walked out the door into a corridor, not waiting to see if Caleb followed.


Stopping in front a huge heavy wooden door, Cain turned at Caleb and smiled politely. “In here”

“Cain?” Caleb asked, bowing his head looking at the floor. “I really ‘am’ sorry that I caused you that much trouble” His voice fell to a whisper, “Please accept my apology”

“No” Cain whispered back, unease rolling off him in waves.

“What do you want from me?” Caleb whispered, “Want me to get down on my knees? Do you want to hear me beg?”

“No” Cain stated again, this time with more conviction.

Caleb looked up at Cain with a sad smile. “What then?”

Cain scratched his shoulder nervously. “I will never believe anything that comes out of your mouth again, you are nothing but smoke and mirrors Gems, you didn’t just betray me. You broke my heart, I doubt that you even knows what that feels like, do you?” Cain took a deep breath, “Do you even have a heart? Or is everything a part of some elaborate scheme?”

“Cain..” Caleb whispered, but Cain broke him off. “You told me you loved me, you told me you would take me with you, you told me you’d never leave without me. But you used me for a purpose and I was too starstruck to see it, Balthazar and Moon both warned me you know, but I wouldn’t listen” He smiled sadly, “And what did that earn me? a metal rod through my chest.. right Gemini?”

“Wanna play the blame game Cain? fine.. Why did you even bother with me to begin with, huh? Because of my charming smile and winning personality? No, because of my family ties. You saw your chance to be something else than Aries’ secretary. Right?” Caleb smiled viciously as he pointed at Cain with an accusing finger. “And you have only yourself to blame for believing the shit I fed you. You wanted to badly to believe it that you were the love of my life, but what you were was an expendable idiot, and you just got yourself expended, nothing surprising about that” Caleb wet his lips, “What I am trying to do is ask for your forgiveness for hurting you, when you were just as guilty”

“I never..” Cain said hotly, but was silenced when Caleb poked him in his chest gently. “Never try and trick the trickster, Cain, its as easy as that” he said velvety, “Can you honestly say that if out places had been reverse, that you wouldn’t have done the same?”

“Yes” Cain growled.

Caleb sighed, “For what it’s worth, I really did like you. And I have some very fond memories of you. You have to admit we had fun too, right?”

Cain nodded, taking a deep breath he looked like someone who wanted to say something but didn’t know how. Finally he managed to mumble. “You’re wrong”

Caleb rose a perfect eyebrow as an unspoken answer.

“I would have loved you regardless” Cain admitted, “You were so consumed with your tricks, games and paranoia that you didn’t hear the truth in my words, or felt it in my kisses” He smiled sadly keeping his gaze on the floor. “Or maybe you really just have no soul”

Caleb leaned in noting that Cain didn’t flinch this time. “I had to escape, this place was driving me insane, and I saw no other way. I truly am sorry, more sorry than you’ll ever know, Chaim.”

Cain’s eyes went impossibly wide, hearing his name, and then they narrowed to two suspicious cracks. “Sorry you tossed me to the wolves, or sorry I survived?”

“Both” Caleb admitted in brutal honesty.  “I should have… found another way” He stepped closer, so close that Cain could feel Caleb’s breath on his skin. “Did it hurt much?”

Cain just looked at Caleb with a mixture of anger and confusion. “Your brand” Caleb asked softly, stepping back a little. “Cause that’s what they did, right?”

Cain nodded, “Yes on both accounts” he said dryly.

“But you’re still here” Caleb said with a little smile, “Aries kept you, he didn’t toss you out to live as a rogue kindred, so that’s good, right?”

“I suppose” Cain mumbled, and then sighed. “I need to know something, and answer truthfully”

Caleb nodded.

“Why are you telling me all this, asking for my forgiveness all of a sudden?” Cain asked, “I really need to know”

“I’m scared” Caleb admitted much to Cain’s surprise. “I’m scared that if I didn’t ask now, then I might never get the chance. My apology is way overdue, and honestly then its the least I can do.” He blushed weakly, “After all, I nailed you to the floor with an iron rod, when you least expected it”

“Tell me ‘when’ you’d expect an iron rod being rammed through you?” Cain spat.

“Cain, please understand.” Caleb said softly. “I don’t know what Aries want, he could be waiting with a gun for all I know, and I just wanted you to know that I really regret all the pain that I caused you”

“I would be lying if I said I forgive you, so I am afraid you will just have to live with it Gemini” Caleb said, grabbing the handle on the heavy door, pushing it open. He turned and faced in the room, “He’s here, my lord” He said, before he quickly disappeared from the door opening, just looking at Caleb, awaiting his next move.



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